Sunday Digest 36

It's time for another Sunday Digest - actually it's overdue! Somewhere between technical difficulties, toilet learning (one down, one to go) and other parenting duties you will find the time I was supposed to be getting this done...sigh. Meanwhile, I have found some interesting posts to refer you to, and here they are:

1) 5 Minutes for Special Needs, where I'm thrilled to post weekly, has a new feature, called "Ask the Parents"...you can go here to read about it and see how it works. The idea is to gather questions from our audience that we can respond to directly as well as reply to in posts. If you have a burning question for other special needs parents, ask away!

2) As always, my blogging friend over at Autism & Oughtisms is stirring the pot with a detailed look into intellect and intelligence, and all the labels that we throw about so casually...

3) I did a guest post over at Books 4 Christian Kids a little over a week ago. The book has little to do with Special Needs, per se, except perhaps that our kids may be more prone to anxiety issues. Ready for Anything, the book I reviewed, could be a gentle entry point for talking about worry with your child.

4) I couldn't have said this better myself. Tammy over at Praying for Parker says it like she means it. Education choices abound in the Special Needs world, and sometimes it seems like everyone has an agenda. No one could doubt Tammy's Special Needs Advocate pedigree, but she chooses to homeschool Parker because it is best for him. Not only can she meet his specific (tactile) learning style, she can protect him from the myriad germs that would make him sick if not threaten his life. I can say, as a parent of a child who is mainstreamed in a general education classroom that I totally respect her choice...I couldn't pull it off with my own child, but I applaud her ability and would never question her decision on some argument that her choice negates or makes mine any harder to achieve. Parents should choose the best education they can find for their own child, and that's the ideal we should be working together to achieve.

5) And speaking of such, doesn't this sound like a lovely neighborhood? Thanks for sharing it with all of us, Kristina White via Hopeful Parents.

Until next time, click away and if you leave a comment make sure you tell them you found them over at The Simple Life.

Sunday Digest 32

I hope, dear reader, that you will enjoy these lovely links as much as I have. While I don't have time to read everything that is out there (who does?) when I find something I like I set it aside to share it with you. These are the best that I've seen out there. Be sure to let them know you found them through The Simple Life...and thank you!

1) Here is a great post about enjoying life with our kids...loving being a Mom instead of being a therapy coordinator and advocate. Not that those parts of special needs parenting aren't important. They are, and we really can't avoid them, but taking a step back to snuggle on the couch or do some art just for fun can be just as important - for us and for our kids. (By mom2spiritedboys at Hopeful Parents)

2) Interesting how different diagnoses can lead to similar...um...challenges. This post (also at Hopeful Parents) is about a little boy with Prader Willi Syndrome who likes to have the same conversation with his mom over, and over, and over. We have similar conversations at our house. It gets old. For my daughter sometimes there is just a communication breakdown - either I'm not understanding what she's asking or she's not understanding what I'm answering. But sometimes it is just comfortable to re-tread the same conversational path, like slipping on your favorite shoes. Why try anything new when this works so well? (By Lisa Peters)

3) So the DSM is due to be revised in 2013. The DSM is the big gray book on Doctor's shelf that is used to describe all the various conditions and disorders so that everyone uses the same rules when they give a diagnosis. Or that's the idea anyway. This is where the criteria for autism, high-functioning autism, PDD-NOS, and Aspergers Syndrome (the full spectrum)  are outlined. There will be some changes which are already being hotly debated in the autism community. I haven't spent much time reading or thinking about it yet, which is partly why this post at Autism and Oughtisms intrigues me. There's certainly plenty to think about here, and useful links regarding the specific proposed changes at the bottom.

4) Something no one wants to think about, but we all should - what happens to our special needs children when we're no longer here. Of course we all plan to stick around, but no one is promised tomorrow and no one is immortal. My fellow 5 Minutes for Special Needs contributor, Lee, posted a great piece about some key things to put in order. This is a must do.

5) Lastly, I love this story about a teacher encouraging one of her students to use his skills to benefit other students. Isn't this what education is supposed to be about? (By Joanna L. Keating-Velasco at OUR Journey Thru Autism)

Homework

Yes, my daughter is just finishing first grade and we have homework. I admit I have mixed feelings about this. I don't remember doing much homework when I was in first grade, but then I don't remember much about first grade. It seems like certain academic skills are getting pushed down to earlier grades. For instance fractions and some simple multiplication concepts were introduced in my daughter's class this year. I don't remember learning about multiplication until 4th grade, but then no one's expecting her to memorize times tables (which is what we did when I was in 4th grade)...and they explained fractions by making pizzas out of paper and cutting them into equal portions. I'm worried about all of this acceleration of the academic world. I've written about it before, and encourage you to consider watching "The Race to Nowhere" - a documentary that discusses this topic on the high school level (before release it was called "Slipping Behind"). So I'm a bit sad that my daughter even has homework at her age, and particularly since it is hard for her to manage on her own. It is really more work for me - to get her started on it, to help her understand the directions, to make sure she follows through, to check it, to correct without leading her to the answer or making her feel like she failed, to make sure she turns it in...Then again it is one of very few chances I have to assess for myself exactly where she's at academically. To see that she still mixes up plus and minus, to see that translating words into math problems is almost impossible for her, to see that her phonetic spelling is still a bit off.

So here are a few things I learned this year:

• Homework is tough for everyone. My volunteer position at school this year involved collecting the homework sheets at the end of the week. I was reassured to note that we aren't the only family that had trouble getting it done. We did more than some families, and less than others, but each family at one point or another needed a break and took it. It never resulted in the world ceasing to spin.
• Be flexible if possible. Our first grade teachers asked us to read each day with our child and then they listed several suggested activities to do during the week. They generally asked us to pick three to do. This was wonderful for us because having a choice is always empowering for my daughter. It fit right in with our general strategy of approaching hard things. "Would you like to do x or y?" Where x and y are both things we can live with that get us to our goal, in this case getting homework done. You may not have a choice about what you do, but you can choose the order, or how much to do now versus later, or if you want to use a pen or a pencil, etc.
• Stay organized. This is the hardest one for me. Monday we would get our homework sheet. Friday we were supposed to turn it in. Sometimes I would find it buried on the kitchen island on Thursday night with nary a thing written on it. On my best weeks we would clip it to a clipboard and keep it in a place where I would see it every evening after dinner. We would pick one activity and catch up the reading log, then Thursday it was ready to put in the backpack all set to go to school. I liked those weeks best.
• Take a break if you need it. When we hit rough patches over the year homework was the last thing on my mind. Busy work times, mild regressions for my daughter, major challenges with my mother-in-law...we would still do our reading, but if we didn't get the rest done I didn't sweat it. Like I said, the world kept on spinning.
• Talk to the teacher. Whenever I felt like we needed a break I would check in with the teacher. She was always understanding. She assured me that reading was the most important thing. She understood when we were working on big projects (like Science Fair) and often had good ideas of things to try to make it easier. You may be stressing out about it more than the teacher intends, so it's always a good idea to check signals.
• Get it in writing. I'm told that it is possible to get homework accommodations and revisions written into your child's IEP. We have not found this step to be necessary yet, but if we do it's nice to know. This way there is no confusion about what is expected of you and your child, and that's always a good thing.

Since we're pretty new to this homework journey I'd love to hear your ideas as well. What works for your family? What challenges have you had and how do you address them? Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Just click on "comments" below to leave a comment or read what others have to say.

Sunday Digest 30

Sunday Digest is turning 30...and it's Easter evening, after a long busy weekend, so this is going to be short and sweet. Sunday Digest needs its beauty sleep and so do I. These are the sweetest links I've found recently. Visit these other sites and let them know you found them through The Simple Life. Thanks!

1) One of my favorite fellow autism mom bloggers (Autism and Oughtisms) posted this review of her son's first term at a special needs school. She is in New Zealand, so their system is a bit different from things here in the States, but it is lovely to hear about how they have found just the right program for him. My dream for every child, special needs or no.

2) One of my favorite adults with autism bloggers (Reports from a Resident Alien) posted her ideas about disability and difference. I love getting her inside the disorder perspective.

3) Hopeful Parents is a group blog that has a wonderful set of writers from a variety of families affected by all sorts of Special Needs. Spectrummy Mummy posted a story about rewards for her daughter and the unintended rewards for herself, too. Very encouraging.

4) Another fellow autism mom blogger (Squashed Bologna,) who I particularly love following because she is also dealing with sandwich generation stuff like our family, has started a series on all of the issues surrounding siblings with special needs. So far what consequences we've had in this arena have been felt by us as parents more than our kids, but I am reading with interest for future days when this will be a hot topic around our house, to be sure.

5) My fellow 5 Minutes for Special Needs contributor Lee, shared a suggestion from his family's experience... Family Game Night. So far we opt for movie nights, but I hope we can add this to our repertoire. Lee mentions several benefits that would be really helpful for our kiddos.

That's it! I did also want to take this opportunity to welcome my newest followers. Thanks for joining the journey here at The Simple Life. I'm always working a few kinks out here, so please forgive the cyber-dust if you happen along when I'm mid-renovations. In particular this post should debut my use  of intense debate to manage comments. This should allow me to reply directly to commenters, which should be a lot of fun. I enjoy doing this at 5 Minutes for Special Needs. I'm still playing with the look of my banner, too, so if you're back in the next few days and it looks different, it's still me! Feel free to let me know if there are topics you'd like me to write about or if you have other suggestions...very open to input over here. Easter Blessings to you!

Movie Review - Race to Nowhere

It's past my bedtime, and I haven't finished reading the book that I wanted to review next. So...I thought I would re-post a review from way back when not so many people (well even fewer than now) were reading Simple Life. My first review ever is posted below. Since writing this the film has been released and is now called Race to Nowhere. I have not seen the final version yet. You can look for a screening near you here. I would love to hear comments from anyone who has seen the movie. With all the debate about education these days, this movie takes a different tack...

I attended an advance screening of a film this evening hosted by our local library and learning center, and the film's producer (Reel Link Films). The film's maker, Vicki Abeles, lives in our area and has travelled across the country to gather interviews for the film. The film is called "Slipping Behind" and it is about the pressures on youth, particularly high school students, but also as young as 3rd grade, to excel at school, in sports, in the arts, and in other extracurricular activities. Among the shocking content I heard tonight:

• Applause for a 15 hour/week limit on high school sports commitment (n.b. this is still more than 2 hours/day on top of school work)
• Success is currently thought of as constant work, and being good at everything.
• In the 1940s high school students did 3-4 hours/week of homework; now it is more like 3-4 hours/day.
• 80% of students admit to cheating in some form because they don't feel they can do all of the work on their own. This is often viewed as "borrowing" someone's work.
  
• Adolescents need 9-11 hours of sleep each night. Many high school students are getting only 4-5 hours of sleep each night.
• What might be an escape from the stress of school - sports, music, theater, etc. often turns into a new form of stress as the competition levels increase or when the student feels they cannot do something they love because they don't have time for it.

What drove me to attend this meeting is the nagging feeling that it spells disaster for children with special needs and those at risk if even the brightest and best are overwhelmed by the current atmosphere of pressure-cooker achievement. In the end the film questions whether we're even teaching youth the right skills when in the work force they will succeed most by being flexible, optimistic, enjoying their work, and being able to work on a team. We are failing ourselves and our children by putting pressure on GPAs and test scores because the best conceptual learning does not occur under pressure. It happens with real world applications and time for exploration. If students who learn things readily and need only a modicum of discipline to focus on required tasks are struggling to succeed, how will the child who struggles to read or write or whose attention drifts easily be able to even subsist?

I'll plan to write a response to these questions from a Biblical perspective in my next post. It would be easy to get wrapped up in fear with these ideas floating in my mind, but I will trust instead that God has the answer.

Part two Achievement
Part three Achievement
Part four Achievement

Sunday Digest 25

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Next week we have our big pie and praise festival at our church. It almost snuck up on me this year. Usually I plan carefully which pie I'll be bringing. I always bring an alternative to pumpkin because I don't like pumpkin pie, and I know someone else will bring the pumpkin for everyone else who does like it. I know...it's almost un-American to not like pumpkin pie. What can I say? Anyway, I'm finding myself with a lot to be thankful for. So much that I'm a beat or so behind where I need to be. Not so busy that I haven't had time to find you some good reads/listens on the internet. Read on in this SILVER (25th!) edition of the best of the rest...

1) We love fidgets, and this link (found via OUR Journey Thru Autism) has some good ideas for a fidget bag that is suitable for keeping in a school binder, and the fidgets to put into it. Children with sensory integration and self-regulation issues often have a hard time quieting their body for events like circle time, assemblies, waiting in line, and working quietly at their desk. Fidgets are usually small, interesting but not too stimulating (fine line here) objects that a student can keep in their hand to help them keep the rest of their body quiet. I kind of self-discovered this way back when I was in college and I was finding it hard to pay attention in some of my faster-paced, content-intensive classes. I made a bean bag, which I called my blob and I would hold it in one hand while I wrote with the other. My daughter responds well to fidgets and we used to carry a fidget bag just about everywhere we went. She still has one or two available at school when she needs them.

2) One of the reasons I re-started The Simple Life was to explore ideas of teaching matters of faith to children with special needs. I recently saw this excerpt of a speech by a Jewish Rabbi. I think many of the ideas expressed here could be applied in other faiths, and I believe this is one of the upcoming challenges to churches, synagogues and other places of worship. We need to be prepared. Many parents that I've met don't feel like their special needs children are welcome in their house of worship...and that is beyond sad in my opinion.

3) This story from Eren over at Steady Mom will help you feel good about how our children, of all abilities, can inspire and teach us if we let them. Technically no special needs involved here, but talk about underdogs.

4) My 5th grade French teacher posted a link to this interview on Facebook. I love how Facebook reconnects us with so many different influences...The interview on NPR is with a woman, Heather Sellers, who is affected by "face blindness" - basically she has no memory of what people's faces look like, even people she knows well like her husband and colleagues at work. You can listen to the interview, and read an excerpt from her book "You Don't Look Like Anyone I Know". This is one more reminder to me of how fragile our brains really are...and I can't help but wonder if this disorder is somehow related to the misfirings of autism that lead to similar difficulties with reading social cues like facial expressions.

5) Tammy and Parker are hosting a Boardmaker Studio giveaway over at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.com. I've not used Boardmaker personally, but I know it is widely used for PECS (picture exchange communication systems), visual schedules, social stories, and other visual aids. My kid seems to need pictures of her real life situation most of the time, so we're wearing out our digital camera, but Boardmaker can be a really useful tool. And they're GIVING it away...the giveaway is open until November 15, so you have ONE DAY LEFT to head over there and sign up...

So I am Thankful for fidgets, faith, children, faces, and giving. I am thankful for you, my faithful readers, and I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving season!

Being Thankful in the Moment

About this time last year I started getting hints that things were not going well in Kindergarten for our daughter. It came through strange channels, and to be honest I still don't know the full story of what happened, but it wasn't good. Several meetings followed and after about a month we were back on track, though perhaps driving on the rumble strip rather than a true lane. We have noted for some time a pattern of "honeymoon periods" when she begins a new program...all the way back to early intervention days when they told me she was "just an angel" and did not see any of the behavior issues I had reported at home - that'll make you feel like a great mom (not!). At some point the honeymoon has ended and trouble begins and we have to remind everyone of what she needs. After a course correction of some weeks to months we get back on track. I have taken to warning everyone of this pattern. Last year the warning wasn't completely heeded, and this year (so far) I've been crying wolf.

We have worked really hard to make this year start off well for her. You can read previous posts about all the steps we've taken to give her the best start possible at her new school. And, so far it seems to have paid off. All credit where it is due, the school staff have really been stepping up for her. At home we have simply maintained our routines and not scheduled too much extra stuff.

It has left me in kind of a limbo, honestly. Usually by now in the school year I am scheduling meetings, firing off urgent e-mails, scrambling for ideas and trying to understand what is happening. This year I'm just enjoying the ride...with some apprehension. I like to tell people that I'm waiting for the shoe to drop and hoping it doesn't! Even if it does, it FEELS like it might not be so bad this time around. Still a piece of me hesitates even to put this out there into the ether because knocking on wood doesn't really work, if you know what I mean.

So the biggest lesson my daughter seems to be teaching me at the moment is just that. Seize the moment. Enjoy it. It may not last, but don't let the worry that it won't last be what defines it. Instead let the light and sunshine now help dispel the clouds that threaten the horizon. Just be. Just give thanks!

You can join in Thankful Thursday here!

Albinism

It is kind of amazing how these Saturday "primer" posts are working out. When I first started them I thought I would have a hard time deciding which special need to write about, but amazingly I keep meeting people or hearing about various conditions, disorders, etc. that become quite interesting to me. Today's post is no exception to this trend. Earlier this month I had the pleasure of meeting a young woman who has albinism or hypopigmentation. It doesn't slow her down though, literally. She runs track (sprints!) and cross-country (distance!) and I saw the rows of medals that she has earned. I learned a lot just by meeting her, and wanted to know more.

I'm sure like most people I've gotten my information about albinism from television shows and the like...I pictured a person with white skin, blond-white hair, and of course pink eyes. It turns out that is a myth. There are different kinds of albinism, and depending on which kind an individual has they may have only slightly lighter hair and skin than their family members, and their eye color can be anything from pink (rare) to light brown or hazel. Most have blue eyes. Albinism is a genetic disorder that affects 1 in 17,0000 people in the United States. The main two symptoms of albinism are vision problems that cannot be completely corrected with glasses and skin that must be carefully protected from sun exposure to avoid skin cancer. There are two broad categories of albinism: oculocutaneous albinism (OCA, eye and skin) and Ocular Albinism (OA, eye).

OCA can be further broken down into sub-categories depending on what specific biochemical pathway leads to the hypopigmentation. Most are related to a breakdown in the system that turns tyrosine (an amino acid) into the pigment melanin. There are several proteins in that biological pathway, and if any one of them breaks down, hypopigmentation will result. In one particularly severe form, at least eight different genes are affected. This disorder is called Hermansky-Pulak Syndrome (HPS) and is associated with poor blood clotting, facile bruising, and lung and bowel diseases. The mutated genes for OCA are on autosomal chromosomes (not the X or Y chromosomes) and are recessive. If neither parent has albinism, then in order to have offspring with the disorder, both parents must carry the OCA mutation and each offspring has a 1 in 4 chance of inheriting OCA.

In the case of OA, the genes are X-linked (again!) so a mother carrier can pass on the disorder to her sons with a 50:50 chance for each birth. Daughters might also be carriers with a 50:50 chance.

Some of the vision problems commonly associated with albinism include irregular horizontal back and forth movement of the eyes (nystagmus); crossed, lazy or wandering eye (strabismus); sensitivity to bright light, astigmatism, misformed retina, optic nerve misrouting, and translucent iris. Some of these issues can be addressed with surgery and corrective lenses, but may not be completely rehabilitated.

Learning all of this about albinism reminded me of my past life. I used work as a lecturer at a major university teaching organic chemistry. One of my students had "low-vision". I do not know the cause of her vision problems, but it sounded similar to the challenges faced by individuals with albinism. Organic Chemistry is a very visual subject. It helps to see the various shapes and connectivities of molecules in order to understand how and why they react. Even students with normal vision have trouble retaining all of the information and learning all of the drawing conventions. That doesn't even consider the lab work which often involved looking for color changes or other visual clues that a reaction was complete before moving on to the next step in the experiment. We did several things to accommodate this student's needs, but it took us a while to figure out the best ways to help her both learn the material and be able to accurately display her knowledge on exams. There are audio textbooks, but these seemed challenging at best to follow as someone described in pedestrian verbiage the structure of each molecule. Besides, professors often don't really teach from the textbook, so we provided enlarged copies of all of the lecture notes, and we audio-taped each lecture. For exams I would take a regular copy of the exam away from campus (risky, but less risky than on campus) to Kinkos and personally enlarge each page to the size of a poster. (You have not lived until you've learned to run this kind of photocopier...and you have not been truly stressed until you go to your favorite Kinkos to do this the day before the exam and find that their machine is out of order and they're not really sure where the closest one like it might be...then consider riding the bus to campus, crammed in with all sorts of students, with a copy of an exam that the average person could read from across the room, oh it was fun!) This would allow the student to see the exam herself rather than having someone else read it and describe it to her, but it was exhausting for her to piece together a mental picture of molecular structures from the individual flashes she perceived. We allowed her as much time as she needed, and frequent breaks, all with a personal proctor who was carefully instructed on how to support her during the exam without assisting with any of the answers. I wish I could say we had a perfect system from the beginning but in truth it took several semesters for this student to meet the standards for the course. We generally considered the first time through each half of the course as a "dry-run" just to work the bugs out. We were all so pleased for her when she finished. I've never seen a student work harder, and I've never been more stretched as an instructor to meet the needs of a student. It is one of the most memorable periods of my teaching career. I have lost touch with this student, sadly, but I think I learned as much from her as she did from me. I think it helps me as I parent my own child with special needs to be more empathetic with school professionals who, for the most part, are stretching to meet my child's needs. We may not get it right the first time, but we'll keep trying hard.

To learn more about albinism, start here:

NOAH (The National Organization for Albinism and Hypopigmentation)Hermansky-Pudlak Syndrome Network

Sunday Digest 20

Hard to believe I've written twenty of these "best of the web" for special needs parents...is that a milestone or what? No particular theme this time around, just some mesmerizing stories - thought provoking and perhaps frustrating...


1) Let's start with the frustrating and get that one out of the way so we can have some fun. In case you were living under the balmy delusion that our society is beginning to accept the importance and the responsibility of providing appropriate education for students with special needs, well...you may not WANT to read this post at Autism Unexpected, but you SHOULD. Look over the comments. I had a hard time pulling myself away from them in that sort of "horror movie" shock where you don't want to look, but you just have to. I couldn't resist adding a couple of comments of my own.

2) This post by Insideout510 over at Hopeful Parents is decidedly more, well, hopeful. It shows the kind of pro-active-get-involved-never-say-quit kind of special needs parenting that someday may keep those naysayers in the previous entry in their place. I applaud the energy and time this parent was able to put into giving her daughter a Summer to remember, forever.

3) I enjoyed the perspective of this piece at Specialgathering. Will your legacy be one of a few shining relics hotly traded by enthusiasts or a quiet on-going producer and provider of useful goods and livelihoods?

4) This post by Bird on the Street offers a new perspective on the vaccine controversy, and a different approach similar to what we used with our twins when we found out shortly after they were born that our daughter might be on the autism spectrum. Katy mentions The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert Sears, which sounds like an excellent resource on the topic.

5) Sticking with my recent practice of posting a link to an encouraging worship song, I hope you'll enjoy this one by Casting Crowns. Our Sunday School lesson today was (in part) about how God makes each of us unique and loves us not because of who we are or what we do, but because of who He is.

Changing Schools - Part Two

This post is the second in a series on transitioning to a new school. My Monday posts will focus on this topic for several weeks because it is a large and complex topic. Also, this post is participating in the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge at Steady Mom. You can catch up with the series by reading Part One here.

So far I've told you about our school district changing our daughter's placement to our home school, my intial emotional responses and the choice we eventually made to accept her transition to a new school. That choice was made primarily because we wanted to give her the best chance for a well-supported change to a new environment and a new social circle. I wanted to share the details of our transition plan in hopes that it will help others in a similar situation to establish their own good plans. Please note that this was separate from considering the level of support, services, and IEP goals for the next year...this was just to focus on helping her understand and be comfortable with starting out at a new school.

1) We gathered information. Prior to telling our daughter anything about what was going on, I met with some trusted private resources, the principal at the new school, and the IEP team at her "old" school to ask questions, get advice, request some accommodations or support, and establish lines of communication. All of this helped the next steps fall into place...

2) We broke the news. We used a social story to tell our daughter that she'd be going to a different school next Fall. I'll share more details on this next post. The timing was not ideal, but the story was very effective in helping her understand what was happening, helping her share the news with her peers, and giving us an idea of what was most troubling to her about the change.

3) We took some field trips. My daughter and I attended open house night in the first grade classrooms at the new school. We met the teachers (although some of them will not be teaching first grade next Fall), and we took pictures of things that were interesting to her. Later we took a special guided tour with an instructional support teacher (IST) and met the Occupational Therapist and Speech Pathologist who will work with her at the new school. [In our case she already knows these ladies, but it was good for her to see them ahead of time at her new school - she has pretty strict ideas about who belongs where, so seeing them there before she has to start working with them there was excellent.] She also met the school psychologist, the receptionist, the principal, and a few other staff who were around. We took lots of pictures on this trip, too. Nearly every week we walk over to the new school to play on the playground and try to connect with other children there

4) We wrote another social story. The IST used some of our photos and some of hers to make another story specifically about the new school. It has pictures of all of the people we've met, and some key places like the playground, the lunch room, the computer lab, and the library.

5) We called some friends. We already know a few families with children entering first grade at the new school. We've had a couple of playdates with a couple of them at the school. We're hoping to do a few more of these in the next several weeks so that our daughter will have some more familiar peer relationships established.

6) The adults met again. We had a transition IEP meeting (I believe these are required any time a student transfers between schools) where the "old" IEP team met with the "new" IEP team (there is some overlap in these in our case) to discuss our daughter's program, and the specific supports that she will need this coming year. At this meeting I also presented an updated parent report and walked through the remaining steps of the transition plan.

7) We will prime the pump. What remains is to continue to prepare our daughter for each new step of entering first grade. She will meet her teacher before school starts, and hopefully visit "her" room again, this time knowing it is "hers". We will either add these pieces to her second social story or write a new one. As each activity is added to her schedule we will make a visual schedule to help her know what is coming next. Hopefully we can continue to support making new friends, too.

There are probably other steps that could be taken to help a child be more comfortable going to a new school. I'd love to hear your ideas since we're still in the middle of this...do share!

Salute to the Salutatorian

This is old news. Almost a month old to be precise. In this day and age I suppose that is almost obsolete, except...I don't think this story will ever grow old. It is the story of triumph, determination, and encouragement for others to do the same. I didn't really connect with it until I read this Examiner blog. Then I hopped over to the written news story and watched the embedded video. By the time I reached the last step I knew I had to post it again. It's probably been making the rounds of blogs, twitter, facebook, etc. but if even just one more person sees this and gains the courage to carry on it will be worth the several who read and say, "Oh yeah, I heard about this already." Even if you did hear about it already...do try to read with fresh eyes and listen with fresh ears. It might hit you in a different way. Timeless tales have a way of doing that.

Eric Duquette lives in Rhode Island. He was non-verbal at age 5 as he entered Kindergarten, newly diagnosed with autism. The news is that he just graduated from High School as the Salutatorian of his class. His GPA ranked second among his 200 classmates. The advocacy includes:

• his parents, who worked with speech professionals and on their own to help him gain vocabulary and make progress learning emotions, etc 
• his classmates - it is obvious they are thrilled with his achievements
• his teachers - from Kindergarten through High School I'm sure they went above and beyond to bring out the potential in this young man
• and himself - the humor and even wisdom Eric expresses in his speech is heart-warming to say the least.

If you watch the video you will see that he looks mostly at the podium (except for one shimmering smile, greeted by applause and cheers!) and the prosody of his speech is stilted. However, this young man, who according to some professionals would end up in an institution, is bound for college and hopes to become a pharmacist. He encourages his classmates to, "not allow yourself or others to be defined by your limitations but rather abilities." I hope he will continue to find the support and resources he needs to live out that motto. He has a good start.

Meanwhile, I am encouraged as I consider the long road in front of our family. Our daughter will begin 1st grade this year. She has already made so much progress that I am often amazed. It has not been easy, nor do I expect it to be easy in the future, but I will hold on to the hope held out in the example of Eric. I hope others will also be encouraged to overcome their own limitations and maximize their abilities; and to advocate, support and encourage others so that they can do the same.

Never underestimate...

Changing Schools - Part One

This post is the first in a series on transitioning to a new school. My Monday posts will focus on this topic for several weeks because it is a large and complex topic. Also, this post is participating in the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge at Steady Mom.

In March we were told that our daughter's Individual Education Plan (IEP) goals and services could now be provided at our "home school" which is always preferred as the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE) and therefore her placement was changed. Even though she had attended her current school for three years through Early Intervention Preschool (EIP) and Kindergarten, even though the child has trouble moving from one daily activity to the next much less through large changes, even though she struggles to establish good peer relationships, even though...we were faced with a decision that essentially had been made for us. At the end of our IEP meeting we were preparing to sign forms to indicate our presence at the meeting and our approval of the plan. I stated that I approved of the services and goals, but that I did not approve of the placement decision. I asked how I should sign the forms to indicate non-agreement and was told that it was not a decision I could approve or disapprove, it was simply where the district had decided to place her.

I left that meeting in a fog. We've learned not to discuss "uncertain" things with our daughter, so I knew I would have to mask my frustration and confusion from her until we had figured out what we should do. This took a lot of effort and didn't leave a lot of energy over for daily functioning. As a result one of our cherished stoneware plates met its end on our stone dining room floor later that evening. I was almost non-functional. After the kids were in bed I fired off e-mails to several trusted resources, set up a meeting with two wonderful mentors, got some of my thoughts down on paper/screen, and went to bed to finally let the tears wash away all the pent up emotion.

To get the full impact of this story you have to understand that we had already uprooted our daughter once from a dear neighborhood preschool because we couldn't supply appropriate support resources in that setting. Moving her completely to the campus that hosts our district's Early Intervention programs had drastically changed our family's "M.O." Instead of walking to school we drove 10 minutes each way, sometimes several times a day. We developed social circles for ourselves and our daughter in this other neighborhood, and after a rough start she had begun to really blossom there. We felt like the stability of being in one place for more than one year had contributed to her progress. The prospect of changing schools felt like taking a tender seedling, and ripping it out by the roots to transplant it again. Allowing myself to process all of the emotions that came with this "out of my hands" decision was not only cathartic, it was necessary to clear my mind and let me focus on the next more pragmatic steps.

We had to find out what our options were: 1) Fight the transition. 2) Question the transition. 3) Accept the transition.

1) Fighting - There is always the option of going to arbitration or fair hearing. These processes can take months and generally require hiring advocates and/or lawyers, and in this case we had little evidence that the placement decision was "wrong" in any legal sense of the word. Home school placement is always considered LRE if IEP objectives can be met there.

2) Questioning - We could apply for an intradistrict transfer. Every district has its own way of handling requests like these. In our district you apply in April or so and you get an answer back in June. From past experience we knew that Summer is not a good time to work through complicated IEP issues, and regardless of which direction the district decided the IEP would need to be re-worked. If they denied our transfer request and we had to accept the transition we would be left with fewer resources to support the transition, and for our daughter good transitions are a necessary as food and water (well almost). This would also mean keeping this secret from our daughter much longer. It would also mean, we found out later, allowing her to develop misconceptions about where she would attend 1st grade that would be much harder to break down afterward

3) Accepting the transition in March/April gave us more time to develop a transition plan with support and input from the schools and district personnel. It also let us move back to our original "Family M.O." Our younger children will (eventually) attend that lovely neighborhood preschool and we'll be able to walk everywhere that we want to, and hopefully rebuild social circles that were previously put in limbo. Before fully accepting the change in schools we did some private assessments and waited for the second term report card to come in to be sure our daughter looked "ready" to us to make such a big leap.

In other situations, and for other families there might be other options to consider if school placement becomes an issue. In other situations, and for other families, our decision to accept the placement decision might not be the right choice. For us it has worked (so far), and it has allowed us to focus on developing a good transition plan, which I'll share in the next post.

Book Review - John Jeremy Colton

John Jeremy Colton was a gift to us when our oldest daughter was a baby. It has recently resurfaced as a bedtime favorite for all of our kids. I like that the story is told in rhyme. As a big Dr. Seuss fan I am always amazed when an author is able to pull this off with ease. Also it is a concept that is challenging to our daughter's pragmatic language skills, so it is probably good to read as many rhyming stories as we can to her. I also love all of the color and some of the zany-ness of the illustrations. It certainly brings home the message that the main character (John Jeremy Colton) is "one of a kind". The only thing I don't like is that the text of the story is incorporated into the zany illustrations to the degree that it is sometimes distracting. For children who are struggling to learn to read this might be off-putting. Even for the parent reading aloud it may be easy to get the story mixed up a bit. Meanwhile, the story is a true gem. John Jeremy Colton simply does not fit in with his environment nor with his peers. He likes bright colors, strange foods, odd dress, and rambunctious children. His strong and lively spirit begins to fade as he is excluded from society, but in the midst of tragedy he proves hero to those who shunned him most. Soon everyone around him decides to let their own personality parade into view. I think the lessons of this story are good both for those who are feeling they don't belong, and those who need to learn to appreciate individual differences. You just never know what a hero might look like, or where they might live.

Look Who is Playing at Carnegie Hall!

There is no greater symbol of success in the world of music than playing at Carnegie Hall. It is the dream of many a musician, but a relatively small number of people ever set foot on it's hallowed stage.

Some special needs students from Florida are about to make this dream a reality. Their teacher, Mr. DeVito has been pushing back the boundaries for about eight years. First, hired as a music teacher, he found it discouraging that so few good instruments were available to his students. So he applied for some money to buy instruments. Then he started videotaping and sharing their music with other musicians. Now ten of his students will travel to New York and play with other musicians at Carnegie Hall.

Music is a wonderful way to both reach out to individuals with special needs and to be touched by them in return. One of Mr. DeVito's students is non-verbal, affected by cerebral palsy, and hard of hearing, but loves to play drums. Studies have shown that children with speech delays often respond well to learning and comprehending words that are "sung" instead of spoken. At our house we sometimes take advantage of this to transition to new activities with silly songs made up to familiar children's songs. Individuals with special needs can find great purpose and joy in making music. Perhaps even more importantly, every "typical" person who participates in and watches this concert will be reminded (or taught) that every individual can make beautiful contributions to our world.

There is a chance for you to get in on this excellent event. Donations are still needed to defray the cost of travel to New York. Follow the link to the story above and scroll down to see how to donate.

Tourette Syndrome Primer

In hopes of broadening the scope of my posts I recently started a new series where I will try to highlight one special need and if possible a hero who, in spite of their challenges, inspires all of us to reach a little higher. I've been collecting a list of sorts of various special needs. If you care to comment here I will add your suggestions to my list. This evening's post came to me via twitter direct message from father and author, Robert Martinez.

Mr. Martinez has recently published a book about his son, Brandon, who was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome at age 7. I have not read the book (yet) but I did read a short excerpt posted on his website. This brief look at Brandon's struggles definitely made me want to know more...especially with the tease of knowing that "Born to Play" is the story of how Brandon eventually is chosen as the seventh round draft pick for the Dodgers (you know, professional baseball!) I'm just imagining the various hurdles, barriers, social pitfalls and physical exhaustion that had to be overcome to get to that place.

Tourette Syndrome (TS) is a neurological disorder that manifests as involuntary movements and vocalizations (called tics) often occurring at the same time. Generally these tics are evident before age 18 and for a formal diagnosis must be present for more than a year. Infrequently the vocalizations can include obscene or socially inappropriate speech - this is widely publicized but does not actually occur very often. I was interested to learn that echolalia, often associated with autism spectrum disorders, can also be present in TS. Echolalia is a pattern of speech where the affected person repeats their own words or others' words. Many people affected by TS also struggle with learning disabilities, ADD/ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, anxiety and depression. The educational and social challenges associated with TS and these co-morbid conditions can be devastating. TS was first described in 1885 by a french physician by the name of Georges Gilles de la Tourette. The direct cause of TS is not known. There is a clear genetic component as often several family members are affected by tic disorders. Interestingly, again like autism, boys are 3-4 times more affected than girls. For mild cases of TS, treatment consists of support, education and "watching." Depending on the severity of these conditions, medications are used to bring the tics under control, such as:

• clonidine (Catapres)
• guanfacine (Tenex)
• risperidone (Risperdal)
• haloperidol (Haldol)

To learn more about TS, I recommend visiting the National Tourette Syndrome Association.

A New Category and a Tribute to an Old Friend

During my blog-cation last week, one of the things I considered changing about how I manage "The Simple Life" is to change the categories of topics I post. One of the more blurry distinctions in my posts has been the Friday "News" and Saturday "Advocacy" posts. Since I often post news items where someone has been an advocate, or occasionally highlight a news item (like the health care debate) where I feel strongly that advocacy is needed, I'm feeling like those topics are somewhat redundant. They also require the most intense searching, and in my opinion lend the least room for me to add my own voice to the mix. Starting today those topics will be combined into "Good News and Awesome Advocacy" Fridays. Which leaves Saturday open to a new category. By far the posts I received the most positive feedback (though mostly off-line) in the last year were two posts where I broke down autism and sensory integration disorder into layman's language. These are both near and dear to my heart and obviously take up a large portion of the virtual space here. However, The Simple Life is not supposed to be just about autism. My original goal, way back when (over a year ago!) was to provide a space where all special needs could congregate and be considered in the light of faith. In order to do this I need to learn more about other disabilities and put them into Simple Life language. So each Saturday I intend to focus on one particular Special Need, highlighting the cause (if known), the symptoms, the treatments, and, when possible, showcasing a hero(ine).

What better place to start than with one of the first special needs that I became personally aware of. I remember in grade school attending a student assembly where a diminutive, but bubbly girl in a wheelchair was introduced to us as a "poster child" for March of Dimes. Her name was Zel, and she had Spina Bifida. I remember participating in a walk-a-thon, but I'm not sure if it was that same year. I did not know Zel well then, but her grandparents attended the church that I grew up in and would occasionally bring her to church. Eventually we ended up at the same Middle School, though she was one year behind me. She was one of few people that I would sit with during lunch. We "passed notes", giggled over boys and the crushes we had on them, spent hours on the phone, played in the band together (she on clarinet and me on bass clarinet) and in general had a typical Middle School girl friendship. The fact that Zel sat in a wheelchair was of little consequence to me. I learned how to steer her through the maze of school hallways (even down a step or two - good training for my current double stroller days), and after I learned to drive I even figured out how to transfer her in and out of the Volkswagen Rabbit that my parents allowed me to use, and how to fold her chair up to fit in what passed as a cargo space in that car. We didn't go anywhere very exciting - just to the mall or a park to hang out and moon over boys. Zel was upset when I decided to go out of state for college. She helped me sort through belongings to take with me. We managed to stay in touch for a few years. When I came home to visit I was sure to see her and we still "passed notes", though now through the U.S. Mail. The next year Zel also started college, but things didn't go well, and she returned to our home town to figure things out. Somehow after that we weren't able to connect as well. I was in an intense period of schooling. I stayed at my undergrad campus almost year round to do research during the Summers, and then I went on to grad school. I became less boy crazy. I probably did not do my share of holding up our friendship and we drifted apart, though I think both of us would still have considered each other friends. I was quite sad to hear that Zel passed away a couple of years ago due to complications from her Spina Bifida. I think because our relationship was so rich during our school years that I never realized how much Spina Bifida really affected and limited Zel's options. She was such a good friend that it never struck me how hard it would be for her to manage the transition to college, nor did I understand that her "boy-craziness" was in some ways her cry to be loved and accepted by the opposite sex in spite of her physical limitations. I didn't fully appreciate the amazingness of her generally upbeat and happy acceptance of life on life's terms.

Though well understood in terms of symptoms and treatment, the causes of Spina Bifida are not fully known. There is some genetic component to be considered, but environmental factors also come into play. It is one of the most common neural tube birth defects (1 in 1000 births), the group of birth defects that affect the spinal cord and brain. Like all neural tube birth defects, taking folic acid before and during pregnancy is thought to reduce the risk of occurrence. In Spina Bifida this may be related to a difference in how folic acid is metabolized. Early in a child's development (less than one month after conception) the neural tube (the part of a developing child that eventually becomes the spinal cord and brain) does not close completely and at birth a portion of the spinal cord is visible outside the child's body. The child must be immediately given antibiotics to ward of infection and usually within 48 hours surgery is performed to enclose the spinal cord. Before the development of antibiotics, children with Spina Bifida generally did not live long, or if they managed to survive were severely disabled due to complications from infection. Currently even with early antibiotics and surgery, in most cases some level of leg paralysis and lack of bowel/bladder control are inevitable. With the advent of prenatal ultrasound imaging, Spina Bifida can be diagnosed before birth, which has also opened to the door to surgical correction prior to birth. Often further surgeries may be required to address spinal cord deformities (scoliosis) and hydrocephalus (extra fluid around the brain). The goal of all treatment for Spina Bifida is to give an individual as much independence as possible in all areas of life.

In memory of Zel

In comments below please let me know Special Needs that you want to learn more about or tell me about a hero you think the world needs to meet.

Book Review - Crow Boy

It's amazing what you can find when you take two two-year-olds to the public library and let them loose in the children's section. The other day when we tried this experiment Crow Boy by Taro Yashima was one of the first books that one of my toddlers handed to me before dashing off to pull another volume off the shelf. I noticed it was a "high quality" find - the winner of a Caldecott Honor Book award in 1958. As I thumbed through the pages, in between eye-balling where my little people were off to next, I realized that this was a story I needed to read to my older daughter and for myself, so I promptly checked it out.


Mr. Yashima takes us back to his childhood in semi-rural Japan and introduces us to a young boy, "Chibi," who is different from the other children. Chibi is afraid of the teacher and the other children. He prefers to be alone, to look at and hold bugs. He passes his time by studying the ceiling or a patch of cloth on his neighbor's shirt. He sometimes looks at the world through crossed-eyes to avoid seeing things he doesn't want to see. It all sounds very ASD to me. The other children do not understand him, and call him mean names. They even call him Chibi because it means "tiny boy". In the sixth grade a new teacher, Mr. Isobe spends extra time getting to know Chibi and eventually Mr. Isobe finds a way to show the school community who Chibi really is. He encourages Chibi to enter the school talent show where he demonstrates his knowledge of bird song, in particular various crow calls. (My twins, by the way love these pages as I try various crow calls.) Mr. Isobe then also explains that Chibi lives in a distant village and that he has travelled by foot every day beginning at dawn to arrive at school, journeying back home to arrive at sunset, and he has maintained a perfect attendance record for six grades in spite of being misunderstood and mistreated by his peers and elders. Chibi gains new respect from the school community and his nickname is changed to Crow Boy, which he seems to like.

The story itself is inspiring and potentially instructional to children and adults of the value in every human life, and the strength of the human spirit. The illustrations (drawn by Mr. Yashima and the reason it was considered for a Caldecott award in 1956) are lovely. To me it seems that Mr. Yashima was trying to show the pictures as if we are looking through Chibi's eyes. The only thing I do not like about the book is that it specifically states the cruel names that were directed at Chibi by the other children. When reading to my daughter it was easy enough to gloss over this by just saying "the children called Chibi mean names" because she doesn't read yet. It's important to me not to plant any such derogatory terms in her vocabulary as we try to encourage the practice of using kind words at all times. She will eventually learn these on her own, but I don't want to be the one who teaches them to her in any format. For a child who can already read seeing these names might be disturbing to parents of like mind.

I believe Mr. Yashima was far ahead of his time in encouraging people to take the time to understand those around us who are different.

Seclusion Rooms and the Like

I found this opinion piece in my google reader feed. Ill-equipped school staff are handling "disruptive" students by placing them (sometimes forcibly) into small, enclosed, quiet rooms for some period of time. Other programs use restraints inappropriately. One problem, as I see it, with using punitive discipline with special needs students is it is often applied without a clear understanding of what leads up to the "mis"-behavior (antecedent), and therefore does not address what the student's behavior is trying to achieve.

For example, Johnny taps his pencil loudly on his desk during a work time when the students are supposed to be doing a quiet writing exercise. He does not respond to the teacher's reminders to be quiet. Eventually the teacher makes him stand in the back of the room because he is tapping louder and bothering other students. The next day he does the same thing. The pattern continues and soon Johnny is not finishing any of his writing projects. Johnny has learned that to get out of sitting quietly and writing he just needs to tap his pencil loud enough to irritate the teacher. The teacher is giving a consistent response, and one that some children would respond to, but for Johnny it reinforces his negative behavior by helping him avoid an undesirable activity. Only a person trained in behavioral analysis should suggest appropriate responses to negative behaviors of students with special needs. My guess is Johnny should still have to do his writing, even if he does it in the back of the room where he doesn't disturb other students.

Beyond the counter-productive misuse of punitive measures, a U.S. Government Accountability Office study found that in some cases these methods have caused physical harm to students including death. Students with special needs are disproportionately subject to such aversive treatment because school staff are inadequately trained to respond to their behavioral challenges in appropriate ways.

Recently a good friend traveled to Washington D.C. with an advocacy group to support, among other measures, the Restraint and Seclusion Act (House of Representatives Bill 4247, Senate Bill 2860). This bill has now passed in the House of Representatives and appears to be in committee in the Senate. Keep your eye on this as it is important for the safety and emotional well-being of many children with special needs.

Number One Advocacy Need

It is IEP season in these parts. One friend already had hers and shared some concerns. Our meeting happens this week. Others are coming. For those unfamiliar with the term, an IEP is an Individual Education Plan. After a child has been assessed by professionals working with the school district they reside in and found to have educational needs that cannot be met in a general education environment, an IEP is put together by a team of professionals (general education teachers, speech therapists, occupational therapists - OT, psychologists, special education teachers, administrators) and the child's parents/guardians. The IEP includes specific goals that everyone will work together to help the child make progress on. The IEP also states the amount of time extra services (speech, OT, social supports) will be provided on a weekly basis, and how much time the child will spend in a general education classroom. IEP is also used to refer to meetings of this team of people. At least one IEP meeting happens each year, although anyone on the team is allowed to request meetings at other times. Last Fall we had IEP meetings every other week on average for about two months. Hairy, yes, but worth it in the results we've had with our daughter's program.

Long introduction to my topic for this advocacy post. In my opinion there are two essential advocacy roles for being a special needs parent: awareness and acceptance in the community, and appropriate education. Currently 30% of my daughter's waking hours are spent at school. That percentage is only going to increase in the days to come. Since many peer relationships develop there, though they may extend beyond the school walls, that 30% overlaps a great deal with her "community." In other words, the more positive her school environment is, the easier it is to garner acceptance in the community at large. Thus our main focus to date has been advocating at our school. We have learned "on the job". I look back on our earliest IEP meetings when I simply signed the forms and went on with my day with a mixture of amusement and chagrin. Now I feel like an essential part of the IEP team, one who helps the various professionals understand how their various strategies and programs need to be tailored to our daughter's specific needs in order to be most effective. I must also say that we are blessed to live in a great school district with excellent staff and professionals. I am aware, however, of other districts where parents have no support and professionals are downright negligent to their duties and their students.

I keep wondering if the current system is really enough, even in the best of situations. Blog posts like this one make it clear it is not enough. Parents are concerned that their children are being side-lined because teachers can't see beyond their wheelchair to their potential. Parents feel painted into a corner of homeschooling because they are the only ones who will give their child the time and attention they need to communicate their thoughts. Other children languish because no one will try even the simplest of tools to connect with them.

For some time now I've been dreaming of a school where every kid is met on their own terms. Every person has abilities, gifts, strengths, things they excel at. Every person also has challenges; some are more profound than others. Imagine a place where every child can expand their abilities and strengths and be supported in their challenges, and even taught how to address their challenges through their strengths. Imagine them all helping each other to excel, succeed, thrive, and enjoy as they learn, explore, and think. Doesn't it sound lovely? How does one even begin to build such a place? This I do not know. I think one begins with parents like those who commented on Bird on the Street, and then one appeals to a wider community of parents with children of all abilities, and finally one invites experts, professionals, and passionate educators who can catch the vision.

That's a big dream to drop in your lap and walk away, but I'm not sure where else to go with it at this point. If you have a similar dream, or can catch the vision I invite you to comment here. Meanwhile I ask you to plug along where you are...advocating as well as you know how...for every child to have the opportunity to reach their full potential.

Book Review - Anything but Typical

Anything But Typical is a middle-grade fictional novel by Nora Raleigh Baskin. It takes us into the world of a high-functioning autistic boy named Jason. As I first started reading I wondered if the book was biographical, but came to understand that Ms. Baskin just really did her research and, I think, has a good sense of what is going on in the world of a person affected by autism.

Jason has always been empowered by written words. In savant fashion he was able to spell before he was able to speak. He still struggles to express his thoughts and feelings verbally, but using a computer devises richly descriptive parables that communicate his deeper feelings. Jason writes his stories on-line and meets another writer by "chatting" about their respective works. The main dilemma of the plot arrives when Jason has the opportunity to meet his on-line friend in person and fears that his virtual persona can't be lived up to in reality.

The underlying theme of the book is one of the most innate of human needs: acceptance. Jason's need to accept his gifts and challenges as a package deal. Jason's parents' need to accept him and the way the rest of the world responds to him. Jason's friend's need to accept reality over virtual-ity.

Another review I read said that there were many humorous situations in the book. Maybe it is just my perspective as a parent of a special needs child, but I felt less humor and more anxious confusion in many of the situations as Ms. Baskin draws us into awkward moments where Jason knows what he should do, or what others want him to do but struggles to find the right path to get there. I don't want to give the impression that there is no humor, but for me the most humorous things were when the people surrounding Jason tried to help him but were misunderstanding his feelings and his intent. His parents set up a mock airplane seat when they misread his anxiety over meeting his friend as fear of traveling in a plane. They have him sit in the mock airplane for increasing lengths of time but have no idea that his fear is probably much more common-place: the fear of rejection.

I think this is an excellent read for anyone who wants to understand what the inner world of at least some autistic individuals may be like, and how similar their needs are to everyone, really.