The Year 2011 in Review

At the beginning of 2011 I did a post detailing my goals for the year. I decided I should do a retrospective post here at the end of 2011, and maybe that will inform my goals for 2012...So here is each goal with my grade and comments for each.

Get organized - Well, no. I made a good effort at the beginning of the year, and depending on the day had some surfaces cleared and progress made on others, but if you looked at my desk right now, organized would not be the word that comes to mind. It is really hard to get organized when there are four other people in the house working in the opposite direction. To keep plugging away at this is basically to bang my head against a wall repeatedly. For 2012 I think I will focus on keeping the spaces that I use the most neat and tidy, and try to help at least three of the four people I live with learn to clean up after themselves occasionally. C for a good effort.

Get a shower. Though it didn't translate to earlier bedtimes or waking times as I wanted, I did grab a shower more frequently than previous years. I have proven to myself that it can happen when I really want it to, which is a step in the right direction. B needs improvement.

Improve my writing. So I never got around to the 31 day challenge I had intended to, but I did something else instead. In addition to my writing here I'm exploring options that might actually pay a little. That would be nice. Part of one of those options included taking two writing workshops, which was great fun. I even learned a little about SEO. In 2012 I just hope to find more time to write about the things I am passionate about, and in particular to return to posting here more frequently. A- get back to work!

Make my husband's lunches more interesting. Did you know that it takes just as long (or longer) to make a sandwich as it does to fill a thermos with yummy homemade soup? It's a lot of fun to mix different foods into the lunch time grind for my hubby. He seems to appreciate the extra effort. A+ Keep it up!

Get a clearer vision for who God wants me to be. So my ongoing study of Proverbs 31:10-31 (yes, I will get back to that series soon here) has helped, I think, to keep my attitudes in check and my priorities straight. There will always be a lot to do, but to do it well, in an attitude of service and humility is the goal. To hear the child already, in quiet and calm moments, tell me what a good mom I am, that is what I'm after. A- keep at it!

Clearly there is more to do. May God's grace cover the shortcomings of 2011 and His strength lead us into 2012. Happy New Year!

Did you reach your goals in 2011?

Sunday Digest 37

So much to share with you this time around that it may not all fit into one digest. There has been a lot of amazing stuff on my favorite blogs to visit lately...

1) My fellow 5 Minutes for Special Needs contributor, Suzanne, shared her inward (at least) response to a person who left an anonymous note on her car window. I hope the person read it, somehow. Just another reminder that not every disability is visible, even the physical ones. Let us be kind to one another, please.

2) My "down under" blogging friend Autism &Oughtisms shared a touching post about her autistic son and his imaginary friend. In addition to exploring various theories of imaginary friends, she explains how she views this as a positive step in her son's development. I distinctly remember my own joy when my daughter at more than four years old pretended to use an invisible object in her play for the first time. I was ecstatic and nearly burst into tears.

3) Tammy over at Praying for Parker expressed one of my darkest fears. Statistics estimate that 90% of unborn babies diagnosed with Down Syndrome are aborted. Tammy points out that some view this as a way of preventing Down Syndrome. What happens when we can test for autism prenatally? I have no doubt there are people working toward this. I can't quote statistics, but my general sense is that the average joe (or jane) has a more positive view of Down Syndrome than they do of autism. Interestingly, both disorders can have a whole range of effects on the developing child, so termination ends a life that isn't fully understood. I think I am particularly sensitive to this topic right now because an acquaintance of mine is expecting the birth of her third child in the next few weeks. According to some prenatal screening her unborn son has a higher than normal risk of Down Syndrome. She already has one child with special needs...and has gathered a whole pack of people around her to pray, not necessarily that the test will be wrong, but that their family will be able to celebrate the birth of their son no matter what the future holds.

4) I continue to enjoy the Special Needs Siblings Saturday posts at The Squashed Bologna. Mid-October, Varda's guest blogger was Michaela Seafoorce. I ready her SNSS post, but also followed Varda's advice and read two of her posts on her own blog here and here. I have been thinking a lot lately about peer advocates and how to find them, how to teach them, what to say. Michaela is just one example I've looked at. More on this in the weeks to come as I get my thoughts together...

5) I am kind of shaking my head these days in disbelief that I'm the mom of a second grader. It's all going by so fast. Laura Shumaker's post at City Brights about the transition to adulthood was a wake up call...time will continue to fly by and one day the child will be the adult. What then? The only thing I can do at this point is to continue to try to build in the skills and support that she will need when we get there a dozen years or so from now.

I hope you will enjoy all the links as much as I did, and if you visit do let them know you found them through The Simple Life.

Sunday Digest 33

Hard to believe it is time for another Sunday Digest already. To be honest I am more than a bit behind on my blog reading...just like everything else. Summer hits and I get busy with the kids and trying to keep up with the dishes and laundry (failing at that, too) many other things get put aside for "later". Here are a few things I've stumbled across that I want to share with you, though...

1) Shortly after my own foray into the "R-word" battle, Autism and Oughtisms posted this lovely piece. I think you will find it quite enlightening.

2) How many times have I wished for someone to help me find resources, set goals, meet milestones? We were quite blessed a couple of years ago to be met in our hour of greatest need by a couple of "experts" who were willing to help us define and achieve some basic behavioral goals for our daughter. Their input made all the difference for us. I certainly wouldn't be writing this blog without them. Autism Speaks published a guest post from an organization trying to get a "life coach" program started for families in need. Here is more info.

3) We had fun last week making our own tote bags following the directions here. I made three bags (one for each kid) from some canvas left over from another project and some cotton webbing I bought last Summer (see how far behind I am??). The sewing took about 2 hours for each bag (I am slow) but it was all really simple - straight lines, you can't go wrong! We decorated ours with fabric paint/marker and some old buttons I found. I will try to post some pics in the art gallery soon. I'm encouraging the kids to use them on our weekly trips to the library this Summer. They love them!

4) Hopefully this week my daughter and I will begin writing a story about how everyone is different. This will be step one in beginning to explain her own challenges to her I hope in a very positive way. On that topic, this post by Resident Alien caught my eye.

That's it for this time around friends...feel free to share your favorite links or fun Summer things to do in the comments below. Enjoy!

Homework

Yes, my daughter is just finishing first grade and we have homework. I admit I have mixed feelings about this. I don't remember doing much homework when I was in first grade, but then I don't remember much about first grade. It seems like certain academic skills are getting pushed down to earlier grades. For instance fractions and some simple multiplication concepts were introduced in my daughter's class this year. I don't remember learning about multiplication until 4th grade, but then no one's expecting her to memorize times tables (which is what we did when I was in 4th grade)...and they explained fractions by making pizzas out of paper and cutting them into equal portions. I'm worried about all of this acceleration of the academic world. I've written about it before, and encourage you to consider watching "The Race to Nowhere" - a documentary that discusses this topic on the high school level (before release it was called "Slipping Behind"). So I'm a bit sad that my daughter even has homework at her age, and particularly since it is hard for her to manage on her own. It is really more work for me - to get her started on it, to help her understand the directions, to make sure she follows through, to check it, to correct without leading her to the answer or making her feel like she failed, to make sure she turns it in...Then again it is one of very few chances I have to assess for myself exactly where she's at academically. To see that she still mixes up plus and minus, to see that translating words into math problems is almost impossible for her, to see that her phonetic spelling is still a bit off.

So here are a few things I learned this year:

• Homework is tough for everyone. My volunteer position at school this year involved collecting the homework sheets at the end of the week. I was reassured to note that we aren't the only family that had trouble getting it done. We did more than some families, and less than others, but each family at one point or another needed a break and took it. It never resulted in the world ceasing to spin.
• Be flexible if possible. Our first grade teachers asked us to read each day with our child and then they listed several suggested activities to do during the week. They generally asked us to pick three to do. This was wonderful for us because having a choice is always empowering for my daughter. It fit right in with our general strategy of approaching hard things. "Would you like to do x or y?" Where x and y are both things we can live with that get us to our goal, in this case getting homework done. You may not have a choice about what you do, but you can choose the order, or how much to do now versus later, or if you want to use a pen or a pencil, etc.
• Stay organized. This is the hardest one for me. Monday we would get our homework sheet. Friday we were supposed to turn it in. Sometimes I would find it buried on the kitchen island on Thursday night with nary a thing written on it. On my best weeks we would clip it to a clipboard and keep it in a place where I would see it every evening after dinner. We would pick one activity and catch up the reading log, then Thursday it was ready to put in the backpack all set to go to school. I liked those weeks best.
• Take a break if you need it. When we hit rough patches over the year homework was the last thing on my mind. Busy work times, mild regressions for my daughter, major challenges with my mother-in-law...we would still do our reading, but if we didn't get the rest done I didn't sweat it. Like I said, the world kept on spinning.
• Talk to the teacher. Whenever I felt like we needed a break I would check in with the teacher. She was always understanding. She assured me that reading was the most important thing. She understood when we were working on big projects (like Science Fair) and often had good ideas of things to try to make it easier. You may be stressing out about it more than the teacher intends, so it's always a good idea to check signals.
• Get it in writing. I'm told that it is possible to get homework accommodations and revisions written into your child's IEP. We have not found this step to be necessary yet, but if we do it's nice to know. This way there is no confusion about what is expected of you and your child, and that's always a good thing.

Since we're pretty new to this homework journey I'd love to hear your ideas as well. What works for your family? What challenges have you had and how do you address them? Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Just click on "comments" below to leave a comment or read what others have to say.

Sunday Digest 30

Sunday Digest is turning 30...and it's Easter evening, after a long busy weekend, so this is going to be short and sweet. Sunday Digest needs its beauty sleep and so do I. These are the sweetest links I've found recently. Visit these other sites and let them know you found them through The Simple Life. Thanks!

1) One of my favorite fellow autism mom bloggers (Autism and Oughtisms) posted this review of her son's first term at a special needs school. She is in New Zealand, so their system is a bit different from things here in the States, but it is lovely to hear about how they have found just the right program for him. My dream for every child, special needs or no.

2) One of my favorite adults with autism bloggers (Reports from a Resident Alien) posted her ideas about disability and difference. I love getting her inside the disorder perspective.

3) Hopeful Parents is a group blog that has a wonderful set of writers from a variety of families affected by all sorts of Special Needs. Spectrummy Mummy posted a story about rewards for her daughter and the unintended rewards for herself, too. Very encouraging.

4) Another fellow autism mom blogger (Squashed Bologna,) who I particularly love following because she is also dealing with sandwich generation stuff like our family, has started a series on all of the issues surrounding siblings with special needs. So far what consequences we've had in this arena have been felt by us as parents more than our kids, but I am reading with interest for future days when this will be a hot topic around our house, to be sure.

5) My fellow 5 Minutes for Special Needs contributor Lee, shared a suggestion from his family's experience... Family Game Night. So far we opt for movie nights, but I hope we can add this to our repertoire. Lee mentions several benefits that would be really helpful for our kiddos.

That's it! I did also want to take this opportunity to welcome my newest followers. Thanks for joining the journey here at The Simple Life. I'm always working a few kinks out here, so please forgive the cyber-dust if you happen along when I'm mid-renovations. In particular this post should debut my use  of intense debate to manage comments. This should allow me to reply directly to commenters, which should be a lot of fun. I enjoy doing this at 5 Minutes for Special Needs. I'm still playing with the look of my banner, too, so if you're back in the next few days and it looks different, it's still me! Feel free to let me know if there are topics you'd like me to write about or if you have other suggestions...very open to input over here. Easter Blessings to you!

My Goals for the New Year

Apologies for the long absence...I was keeping up right until New Year's and then, well, lots of fun stuff happened and I couldn't do everything I wanted to do. Bad stuff happens, life gets full. Good stuff happens, life gets full. Same result, but I prefer option B, thanks!

Meanwhile, today over at the Special Needs Blog Hop they're talking about goals for the New Year. Goals, mind you, not resolutions. Five things we'd like to reach during this New Year. Here are my five:

Get organized. No really. Perhaps I should say get more organized. Three years of just going through the paces and trying to keep up with the essentials has left us kind of buried in paper (among other things). Everywhere I look there are piles of projects that I'm going to work on "later". Well, later has come, my friends. So far I'm using this 21-day challenge except I'm letting myself work at my own pace and I'm not posting photos here because it would move too far away from my purpose. I'm almost done with the second challenge. (Clean off my desk in a day? NOT) I did get it cleared off in one day, but dealing with the detritus has taken another day on its own.

Get a shower. That's my incentive for getting up a wee bit earlier in the morning, which should mean I go to bed a little bit earlier at night. Didn't happen tonight, but you know.

Improve my writing. There's a 31-day challenge for this, which I haven't started yet. I figure I should finish the get organized challenge first. Being subscribed to these via e-mail and Google Reader is letting me do them on my own time schedule, which is kind of essential around here. In fact, I just noticed that 21+31=52, and if memory serves there are 52 weeks in a year, so even if I only get to one challenge per week I'll finish both of these by the end of 2011. SWEET.

Make my husband's lunches more interesting. He used to have this cushy job where he got to eat in gourmet restaurants every day for lunch (rough times, right?) Then when he decided to start our home business again, right before the economy tanked mind you, we cut back to brown bag lunches. That was over three years ago. During that time I've packed him a sandwich, a yogurt cup, some fruit, a drink, and a cookie or two anywhere from 2-4 times per week. Seemed like he could use a little menu variation. So one of his Christmas presents was a new lunch box and thermos. I can send hot leftovers in his thermos. Tomorrow he has requested left-over chicken, stuffing and gravy. Gotta  beat cold cuts, right?

Get a clearer vision for who God wants me to be. I'm thinking about starting with Proverbs 31:10-31. My primary job right now is wife and mom. There are other things I do (writing, supporting my husband's business, leading our church's Sunday School, volunteering at my kids' schools) but wife and mom are at the top of the list. The Proverbs passage has long been held as the "ideal" woman. I think one large chunk of the things I struggle with comes from trying on my own strength to meet a lot of "ideals." I have high expectations for myself and for my kids, which is not all bad, except when it is. Loving has to come before expecting, I think. So instead of looking at the Proverbs 31 woman for what she does (I already do plenty) I'd like to find out more about who she is...her foundational character. I'm thinking that's how she gets it all done well. In the end...

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many woman do noble things, but you surpass them all." (Proverbs 31:28-29, NIV, emphasis mine)

There's doing and then there's surpassing. I'm tired of just doing.

Check out the blog hop...it's fun!