A Season for Everything

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build up,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)

...A time to blog, and a time not to blog.

I made that last bit up...:-)

I've been blogging now for about three and a half years, and it has been a critical part in refining the parenting skills I've used with the child. Now, however, I feel like we've hit a new stage in our journey. It appears to be a stage in which more direct time and energy is required of me, and blogging seems to drain the resources rather than fill them up.  I know part of me will miss this, and I know that if I ever feel it will be useful again then I'll be back in a flash, but more than both of those I know this is the right decision for myself and my daughter.

I've already said goodbye at the other blog that I contribute to here. I'll be leaving the site "up" so if people find it and need the information here it will be here.

Whatever has brought you here, thank you for sharing your time with me, and wherever you go from here, may God bless and direct your steps.

D is for Dresser

When I asked the child for a letter D object to photograph she immediately said, "Dresser!" I'm noticing that she basically looks around and says the first thing she sees that starts with the letter of the week. I may have to be more careful of her surroundings when I ask her for a word! Luckily her Dresser is not looking as bad as it sometimes does. I just cleared it off and "reorganized" it a little over a week ago.

To be fair, this is one of the few places the child can put things that she doesn't want her siblings to mess with. They can't quite reach up there yet, and it is certainly out of sight for them, so they usually ignore whatever is up there. These may be among her most prized possessions.

The jewelry box on the right is a music box with lots of little drawers to hide treasure in. You may also see her John Lennon glasses, her "fossil" and clay fairy that she made in 2nd grade, and her cherished "Squinkie" salon play set. Less important (to her) the clothes stowed inside. The purpose of the dresser in her mind is to protect her special things.

Where is your treasure?

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." - Jesus

(Matthew 6:19-20, NIV)

I know you want to delve into more dutiful D delicacies, so click here.

Dealing with Anxiety (Yours)

I have struggled off and on with anxiety for most of my adult life. I worried a lot as a kid, too, but my supportive and loving Christian parents helped keep it in check. When I left home to attend college the things and people I had relied on to stay strong were removed and I felt quite alone in facing my fears. There were days that I would come home from class and lay on my bed completely paralyzed by fear. I couldn't even put my finger on what exactly I was afraid of most of the time. It was hard, but I learned a lot about myself and my faith in the process. I still probably worry more than I should. When my kids get sick I tend to think it might be the worst scenario (like vicarious hypochondria?) but over the years I've learned a lot of tools that help me keep an even keel.

Keep good company - When my anxiety first flared it was so overwhelming that I didn't want to be around people, but I soon learned that being around good friends helped me feel stronger. It was really important to be around the right people, though. Some people caused more anxiety than they cured. Others meant well, but their words sometimes left me feeling guilty for feeling the way I did, or even that things might get worse rather than better. There were a few good souls who might say very little, but just by being with me would help me calm down.

Fill your mind with scripture - There are a lot of great verses that help us turn our worries over to the Lord. Meditate on these. Memorize them. When your chest gets tight repeat them until you feel God's peace wash over you. I've listed a few verses below, but a good Study Bible (or a judicious Google search) will turn up many more that you may find helpful.

• Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
• Matthew 6:25-34 (NIV)
• Psalm 37:3-6 (NIV) Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
• Proverbs 18:10 (NIV) The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.

Pour out your heart in prayer - I always found journaling and writing out my prayers to be the most useful way to get my thoughts, fears, and worries in order. Simply naming the monster was really helpful. My kids reminded me of this the other day when they asked me before bedtime what color monsters are. I asked them what color they thought they were, and they said brown, and were promptly ready for bed. There's no way to be sure, but I think if I had not answered their question, or if I had dismissed their worry, or even planted my own monster's color in their head the conversation could have led to a protracted discussion, and maybe even nightmares. By letting them name the color I gave them control over the monster. When you can name your monsters at the throne of God, He will give you the strength you need to face them head on.

Find a healthy outlet - In college I started making digital art on one of my friend's computers. Pre-twins I was exercising three times a week. Now, I write. Find something that helps you feel productive, energized, and hopeful. It is hard for worry and hope to exist in the same mind. Do some art, take a walk, bake, find a service project, knit. Whatever you do, make sure it helps you feel better.

Get help - There are times when anxiety goes from being an emotional problem to being a medical problem. Right after my husband and I were married my anxiety was so deep that I couldn't function well. Doing the laundry was overwhelming, and I felt like I was coming apart at the seams. I knew I couldn't go on like this, so first I made an appointment with my doctor. He ordered a bunch of tests to rule out physical causes, and eventually prescribed anti-anxiety medication. I took them to give myself the mental space I needed to figure out what was triggering the anxiety so that I could overcome it. My next step was to find a Biblical counselor - she helped me get to the spiritual roots of what was causing my anxiety (in my case there were lots of people that I was harboring resentment toward, 20 years worth of bitterness, ouch). The habits I learned in my counseling helped me improve my thought life and gradually I was able to wean myself off of the medication. I know for other people anxiety is an on-going medical challenge and medication is necessary for them to function every day. I believe God gave us medicine, and that we should use it wisely to help us do what we need to do. Don't put off getting professional help if you're in over your head. The sooner you start the sooner you can begin to truly enjoy life again.

Jesus' Storybook

My children love a good story. We read stories every night, and it is one of the incentives for getting through the not so fun parts of bedtime. They each get to pick a book. They often race to see who will get to pick first. We restock often from the library, but they love to read their favorites over and over again. I was pondering this a few weeks back and decided that I need to make a special effort to introduce them to some of the greatest stories ever told, by the greatest Storyteller.

Many of the examples of Jesus' teaching that we find in the New Testament are in the form of stories called parables. Jesus used real life, common to His culture and time period experiences to explain eternal truths. I'm starting to find each of these stories and learn more about who was listening, where they were, and what Jesus said about each story. The stories might require some explanation to a modern day western culture individual, but the Truth will still apply. I am excited to look at these with my kids, so I thought I would share them with you, too.

The first recorded parable told by Jesus happens at the end of what we call the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus was teaching His disciples at a place called the Mount of Olives, and a crowd of people gathered around to hear what He had to say. Space does not permit a full recap of the whole sermon here, but it is the essence of Jesus' teaching on how His disciples should live their lives. Quintessential verses that are widely known and frequently quoted even in secular society come from these passages:

• Blessed are the meek
• Let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No,' 'No'
• Turn the other cheek
• Don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing
• The Lord's (Model) Prayer - "Our Father..."
• Casting pearls before swine
• Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (The Golden Rule)...

...just to name a few. See Matthew 5:1-7:29 to read the full text. Much of what Jesus had to say was radically different from the religious leaders of that day. In that context, Jesus closes with a sermon illustration, the parable of the wise and foolish builders:

Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash. Matthew 7:24-27 (NIV)

One builder chooses a solid foundation and the other chooses convenience, but they both have a choice. Neither structure is immune to trouble - they both get wracked by what sounds like the storm of the century. One structure comes through unscathed and the other is destroyed. The analogy Jesus draws for us is to those who hear His teaching and make their choice of what to do with it. Those who choose to obey are like the wise builder who chose to dig down to the bedrock to tie in his foundation. The obedient will experience trouble, but will come through with their integrity. Those who choose not to obey are like the corner-cutting contractor who settles for a foundation on sandstone. When trouble comes they will not stand.

It is clear from this that Jesus expects us to take all of those radical ideas that He taught and put them into practice. This is wisdom according to Jesus' Storybook.

Matthew 7:21-29, Luke 6:46-49, Mark 1:22

Wrapping up Proverbs 31

After over a year of slowly delving into the character of the Proverbs 31 woman, I am almost sad to bid farewell to this daunting friend. I pray the lessons I have learned from her will truly become a part of my character, and that God will bring her to mind whenever I need it...One last time read with me about who this woman is [linked to and yet separable from all that she does...]

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." (Proverbs 31:10-21; 25-29 NIV)

First I think it is important to recall, briefly, all that this woman is. She is...

• Noble - She has an internal force of strength and virtue, from an external source.
• Precious - She is deemed more valuable than rubies (the rarest of gems) by her husband.
• Eager - She sets about her work with a feeling of great desire, pleasure, or expectancy.
• Vigorous - She takes care of her own physical needs so she can be strong for her tasks.
• Profitable - She earns income, but also has a spiritual profit of wisdom.
• Prepared  - Her lamp doesn't go out, so she is ready for anything.
• Giving - She takes care of the needy in some way.
• Confident - Because she is prepared, she does not fear for her family.
• Dignified - Her character is always evident.
• Laughing -  She faces the future without worry and with humor.
• Wise - She chooses her words and her actions carefully.
• Kind - Her words follow the law of kindness.

Second I wanted to highlight the source and the results of her character.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." {Proverbs 31:30-31, NIV)

The source of all of these qualities is her accurate view of God. In verse 30 this is referred to as 'fearing the LORD.' This fear is not the stark terror kind of fear we usually think of, but an overwhelming awe and worship of God. It is recognizing who He is (perfect, holy, loving, powerful, personal) and that I have no right to be in His presence, yet here I am, and so I must worship. With this attitude toward God, and a desire to please Him, the character traits listed above will be a natural outcome.

The result of her character is "praise at the city gate." That doesn't mean much to us these days, but the city gate is where all the men of a city would go to conduct business, hold court, make deals, and brag. So her husband is going to go to the city gate and tell everyone what a wonderful woman she is. It's the equivalent of a modern day husband going on Facebook (or twitter or...) and telling everyone what a great wife he has. It's the warm feeling of a mate giving public acknowledgement that their partner is a true blessing to them. What a gift.


I hope this study has been encouraging to you, too. You can review earlier passages by clicking on the links in the first quote above. Leave me a comment below about which character trait you're working on at the moment. I think I'm working on eager and vigorous...

Sunday Digest 42

I've been exploring the new social media space of Pinterest. I've been enjoying "pinning" things that I find all over the internet that might be useful at some time in the future - recipes to try, books to read, pillows to sew (someday). Sunday Digests are like my own more public Pinterest board. I find other blog articles, news pieces, stories and information that I think is interesting, helpful or inspirational and share it here with you. I hope you will enjoy these links as much as I have...

1) Lisa Leonard - jewelry designer, photographer, blogger, and special needs mom shares the story of her son's birth, and the amazing lesson from Psalm 139 that he teaches her. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. Make sure to read the comments, too.

2) There have been several "What it's Like" posts lately from parents of children with special needs. Maybe there's something in the air. The first one I read was from a mom. She cited her inspiration which was an article written by a dad. I threw in my own three cents on 5 Minutes for Special Needs, and Tammy posted her thoughts at Praying for Parker. Truth is each parent child situation is unique...

3) And for an even more inside view, check out what the first day of school (college) is like for Lisa over at Reports from a Resident Alien. I love reading her posts because I feel like I'm peaking into the child's future (maybe)...

4) Lisa at Hopeful Parents shared about the challenge of filling a prescription for Ritalin for her son who has severe ADHD. Makes me wonder if government run health care is really such a good idea?? It reminded me of a play that was showing at our local theater. Distracted is the story of a mom struggling to help her son with ADHD. I did not get to see the play, but attended a free talk given by a local pediatrician after one of the shows. This program guide is filled with lots of interesting information about the play and ADHD.

I think that's it for this round of "pinning". Enjoy. When you visit these links please make sure to tell them you heard about them through The Simple Life.

Blessed and Noble (Again)

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." (Proverbs 31:10-21; 25-29 NIV)

We are almost done with the Proverbs 31 Woman - that paragon of womanhood who baffles many of us with her long list of accomplishments. Lately my to do lists have been winning, so being told there is more yet for me to DO is not what I want to hear. Instead, I keep reminding myself that the real goal is to BE, to have a character that is pleasing and honoring to God. This penultimate study initiates the postscript to this woman's to do list. We've read her activities and now we get to see what other people think...

First we hear from her children, and they call her blessed. This word in the Hebrew is ashar - a primary root that means to be straight, level, right, and happy. It can also mean to go forward, to be honest, or to prosper. It is similar to the wording Jesus uses in The Beattitudes (Matthew 5). This praise is perhaps especially meaningful given its source. It's pretty easy under any culture and family for children to find fault with their parents. In their view we are too strict, too busy, or too [insert complaint here]. These children recognize and boast about their mom's happiness, honesty, and prosperity. It is my prayer that my children will have the same response someday. What a sweet reward that will be.

Her husband echoes the children, and adds his own commentary that her actions are noble. Remember noble? It's how we started off this study, and so we come full circle. This is the same Hebrew word (chayil) from verse10 that talked about her character. Here it describes her work. Chayil (khah'-yil) refers to a force (of means, men or other resources) producing virtue, valor, and strength. This woman possesses an internal force (from some resource) that causes her to bring forth virtue (goodness), valor (courage), and strength in all of her actions. What's amazing is that what started off as a force of character (being) has become a force of work (doing). So maybe by being what God desires we can also do what He desires.

Our next study will review all of the qualities of the Proverbs 31 Woman and see her end reward. Thanks for joining me in this journey. 

Saying Something Nice

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. (Proverbs 31:10-21; 25-26 NIV)

I am finally circling back to the Proverbs 31 woman. I am determined to finish this series. To see earlier posts click on the links in the quoted passage above. I'm amazed it has been such a long gap since my last post in this series (late September) because with each study I learn more about who God wants me to be. As a chronic "do-er" it is so important to remind myself that God looks on the heart more than the hands.

Today's adjectives both describe the Proverbs 31 woman's speech. So far we haven't really heard her voice. She works, she gives, she invests, but so far she hasn't said much. In this verse we get to eavesdrop on her conversation and find that it is characterized by wisdom and faithful teaching. In Hebrew the word for wisdom here is chokmah and can be interpreted as wisdom, skillful, wisely, or wit. It is derived from the word chakam, a primary root that means to be wise in mind, word or action. This implies that the Proverbs 31 woman is skillful conversationalist who pays attention to her words.

In the King James Version, this verse is translated, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness." The Hebrew word for kindness is checed and it means kindness, piety, beauty, favor, and merciful. So although this woman possesses a lot of wisdom, she is kind and considerate about how she dispenses it. Her words are beautiful and merciful.

In our culture I think there has been a general coarsening of our words. We are not trained to think before we  speak. Even if there might be an open microphone and video camera around, and our words might end up as the next viral YouTube link, we tend to speak first and explain later. I can definitely learn a thing or two from the Proverbs 31 woman, especially as I speak to my children. How often are my words of wisdom laced with the law of "do as I say right now, Buster" rather than the law of kindness.

I think I'll run an experiment for a few days and see if I can keep the law of kindness in mind as I'm speaking. I'll report back here in a week and let you know what happened. Want to join the fun? Just leave a comment below...

Dignity and Humor

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet...She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. (Proverbs 31:10-21; 25 NIV)

This study of the Proverbs 31 woman has been so rich for me. I hope you have enjoyed it, too. If you're just joining in you can review the earlier posts by clicking on the links in the passage above. The Proverbs 31 woman has always been a bit intimidating to me because of all she does, but recently God has been reminding me that He is more interested in who I am than in what I do. I decided to look into the character of this woman and see if I can learn more about "how to be" from her. It's been really encouraging so far.

There are two interesting juxtapositions in today's verse that I never noticed before. First, earlier in the passage (not quoted above) we are told that this woman is clothed in fine linen and purple (verse 22.) At this time period wearing linen signified that you were part of the noble class, and wearing purple meant you were royalty, or rich enough to be. Still the emphasis seems to be more on her spiritual attire of strength and dignity. There is symbolism in this for us. Personally my wardrobe could use a lot of gussying up. That show "What Not to Wear" would have itself quite a field day with my closet. I have clothing from high school (that still fits!) and mostly wear jeans, big t-shirts, and well-worn flannel shirts. I go for comfort and practicality and most "stylish" things just don't seem to fit either criteria...not to mention they're way out of our budget. However, even if my physical clothing isn't fit for the fashion runway, my spiritual clothing can be pleasing to the eye: noble and precious, strong and dignified. Dignity (honour in KJV) is the Hebrew word hadar (haw-dawr'; ^ over both a's) and means ornament, splendor, beauty, excellence, or majesty. It is derived from the primary root word hadar (haw-dar'; ^ only over the first a) which means to swell up, to favor, honor, or put forth. Needless to say it is a quality that makes this woman stand out in a crowd in a way that draws admiration from others. We can wear this dignity with anything - it is the perfect accessory for every outfit.

The second point is the seemingly contradictory characteristics of dignity and humor. She is clothed with dignity, yet she laughs at the days ahead. I have often wondered at this turn of phrase. When I look at the days to come I rarely laugh, unless nervous laughter counts. I'm usually the one biting my nails worrying about every possible outcome and not at all confident that I'll have what it takes to persevere. There was a time when I would actually worry if I didn't have something to worry about, so I've come a long way, but it's all too easy to let my mind run to the worst possible scenarios. This woman looks at the days ahead with confidence, joy, and a sense of humor. One might think that dignity and humor don't fit in the same personality, but here we see that the strength and dignity to face the future is the very root of good humor. With all of the uncertainty and fear-mongering that abounds in our society the secret of dignified humor will be key to stepping forward with confidence in the days ahead.

Let's join the Proverbs 31 woman and look ahead with joy in our hearts, assured that our future is secure.

Confident

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. (Proverbs 31:10-21, NIV)

I wanted to continue looking at the Proverbs 31 woman this week, continuing to focus on her character rather than her activity. So far we have seen that she is noble, precious, eager, vigorous, strong, profitable, prepared, and generous. It is still quite a list, but each of these qualities comes from a heart that seeks its value from God rather than selfish effort or material goods. Today we see that this woman has no fear for her household. In particular it refers to a snow storm, perhaps even a blizzard. It may be a bit hard to picture snow in Israel. We generally picture Israel as a hot, desert land, which it is - similar to the Los Angeles basin. However in the northern hilly regions (Mt. Hermon in the Golan Heights) it snows yearly, enough to support skiing. Safed, Jerusalem, and the hill country of Judea can get snow every few years. At any rate it is not unthinkable that this woman faces the occasional snow storm with her family. During such storms she clothes them in scarlet, probably wool that she has made with her own hands. The scarlet, deep red color would keep them visible during white out conditions. The wool would keep them warm. Such clothing is associated with wealth and well-being (though not always in a positive sense, see II Samuel 1:24 and Revelation 18:16.) There are a couple of points that make this really powerful imagery for me:

• First, it shows again the preparedness of this woman. She knows the dangers that her household may face. Not just family, by the way, but also servants needed to be provided for in times of danger. She knows they will face the occasional blizzard, so she prepares appropriate clothing for this danger. With all the big storms and earthquakes lately, and the instant, global publicity they can receive, emergency preparedness is big in the news lately. Around here we don't have to worry about blizzards. We have earthquakes and brush fires. There are certain precautions that we need to take to be prepared for these hazards. More importantly there are spiritual hazards that we need to be aware of and preparing our household to face: materialism and moral relativism spring to mind. We need to "clothe our families in scarlet" - giving them a foundation of the true Gospel to keep them safe in these spiritual blizzards.
• Second,  I can't help but be reminded of the well known verse Isaiah 1:18 - "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool..." (NIV) It's the same interplay of colors - scarlet and snow - but in many ways an opposite image. Our sin, in this metaphor, is what makes us stand out starkly on the white background of God's holiness, but He has the power to make us white as snow.

No matter how you look at it, it is God that keeps us safe in the storms of life and God that can wash away our sin and make us pure. Once again our hearts must turn to Him in order to be confident for ourselves and our family.

 

Generous

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. (Proverbs 31:10-20)

We're revisiting the Proverbs 31 woman, continuing to focus on her character and who she is. In this week's verse we learn first more detail about her work - that she spins thread, then we learn that she is generous to the poor and needy. By the juxtaposition of these verses I imagine that she is generous not only with her money, but also with her time and resources. Perhaps she gives away some of the thread or cloth that she makes. She does this knowing the principle already explained earlier in Proverbs:


"...blessed is he who is kind to the needy." (Proverbs 14:21b, NIV)
"A generous man will himself be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor." (Proverbs 21:9, NIV)


It appears that in God's economy being generous is a safety net both for the recipient and for the giver. There are several provisions in the Old Testament law to protect and provide for the poor, the widow, the orphan and the alien.


There is a whole lot of needy going on in the world around us. I pray that God will show me new ways to be generous to the needs He puts in my path.

Profitable and Prepared

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.

I wanted to continue my series on the Proverbs 31 woman...remembering that I'm not necessarily supposed to do what she does but to notice her character, who she is which influences all she does. So far we have seen that she is noble, precious, eager, vigorous and strong (see links in passage above to view earlier posts.) Today I want to focus on one sentence. "She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." Proverbs 31:18 (NIV)

Her trading is profitable. Recall from our earlier studies that the Proverbs 31 woman is quite the entrepreneur. She weaves wool and linen and sells her wares to merchant ships, then uses her profits to buy a field and plant a vineyard. She is a businesswoman, and a shrewd one who wants to make a profit. I am not much of a businesswoman, and in my work with my husband I bring in very little extra income for our family, but I view my role in our finances not so much by what I can bring in as what I can keep from going out. Over the last few years this skill has be severely tested. I still have a lot to learn. I am not, for example, very good at using coupons and that sort of thing. The main way I try to keep money in the coffers longer is by using our resources wisely. My favorite way to do this is to use our food as completely as possible. For example, I love using my crockpot to cook meat, and my husband likes his meat with lots of sauce. Usually after the meat is all gone there is still sauce left over, and for a while I didn't know what to do with it. Now I turn it into soup and get another meal (or two sometimes) out of it. It's simple! Sometimes I throw in some leftover vegetables and/or other meat, sometimes I mix it with a can of store-bought soup. Leftover mashed potatoes make a great thickening agent. Add some broth, milk, or water as needed for thinning. I just imagine the flavors, and guesstimate the thickness. These soups are usually so good that my husband tells me to write down the recipe. Sure - a little of this, a little of that, mix it all up until it tastes good. I love how it stretches the food budget and keeps the leftovers interesting, even for the kids.

That sort of profit is all well and good, but there is an extra layer of meaning here that we can't pass up. Remember that the Proverbs 31 woman is as precious as rubies, which is a picture of Wisdom.

Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. Proverbs 3:13-14 (NIV, emphasis mine)

Regardless of our financial footing, finding wisdom and understanding is where the Real profit lies.



photo by Daniel R. Blume via Flickr

 The second part of this sentence could mean that the Proverbs 31 woman is awake late in the evening doing her work - weaving or balancing her business books perhaps? However, it reminds me more of the story that Jesus told of ten virgins who were invited to participate in a wedding celebration. (Matthew 25:1-13) Five of them were wise and five were foolish. The foolish virgins ran out of oil to keep their lamps burning, so they weren't ready when the bridegroom came. They had to go looking for oil instead of being able to take part in the wedding celebration. The wise virgins brought their lamps and extra oil, so they were prepared for the extra wait and were ready to party when the bridegroom arrived. Jesus closes the parable by saying, "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour." (Matthew 25:13, NIV) It's interesting that he told this parable just before his final days leading up to the crucifixion. I think this is the same message presented by the Proverbs 31 woman:

Be Wise, be prepared, don't let your lamp go out.

Finding Rest

The other day I was sitting with a friend telling him how tired I have been lately - that I can fall asleep on the floor for 5-6 hours without even meaning to. Basically anytime I stop moving my body is demanding sleep. He pointed out that when I do things I usually give 164% - meaning I'm not satisfied with just getting things done, they have to be done to the best of my ability and then some. "Give yourself a break."

Then yesterday a firetruck drove by our house - not at all unusual - but the siren wasn't on. The child and my boy saw it and told me about it. When I told them I didn't hear it, the child said, "The siren wasn't on because fire people need to rest sometimes, Mom. That's what God said."

If she gets it, why can't I?

There is a lot to do around here, and I really have been trying to keep up with my regular work plus catch up on a long list of deferred projects. None of it is worth losing rest over, though. So these are some of the things I'm trying to remind myself to do:

• Take it when you can get it. My twins still take a nap almost every day. It is one of my favorite times of day. They share a room, and without some supervision at the beginning of nap time they will talk and play (and body slam) with each other instead of going to sleep. Some time ago I started sitting in the room with them, watching them only peripherally while I read or worked on my laptop. If I did not take this time to stop each day I would undoubtedly just run myself ragged. I still get stuff done, but it is quiet, sitting, and it's as close as I get to me time each day.  Now what I will do when they stop napping? I dunno yet.
• Listen to your body. When it says it is tired it means it. I'm still hoping it's just sleep deficit that has me so drained, but soon-ish I'll be up for my annual check up and will ask the doctor to check for any underlying concerns - anemia or thyroid issues. Meanwhile I'm trying to be good and sleep when I need to. Easier said than done.
• Pat yourself on the back for all that you do. This goes to the 164% problem. I have a weekly to do list (seriously it's a spreadsheet that tracks what I do/don't do each week). It's kind of like the half-full/half-empty glass question. Which one will I focus on? I tend to get after myself for the lingering project from November and the other things I didn't do. For some reason I forget the 21 meals (plus snacks) I prepared, the 7 loads of laundry I washed (OK maybe didn't fold), the daily fun activities for the kids, the writing, the office work, etc. etc. etc. that I DID GET DONE! At the end of the week there's way more that I did than I didn't. I need to remember that.
• The ultimate source of rest is God. So the main reason I focus on what I didn't do is worry. It always has been my biggest struggle to keep from worrying about things. I used to worry when I didn't have something to worry about. Really. I'm getting better. Still I need to remember that God wants to and will take care of me and provide what I need for each situation.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)

How do you find rest?

He is There

I want to take a break from the Proverbs 31 series to share an insight gained in my small group Bible study earlier this evening. We are studying Jesus Christ: The Greatest Life Ever Lived, which combines the four gospel accounts into one amazing story of Jesus' life and ministry. We were reading the fairly familiar story of Jesus calming the storm. Here is the account from Mark 4:35-41 (NIV). You can also find the story in Matthew 8:18-27 and Luke 8:22-25:

     That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"
     He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
     He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"
     They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

There were several thoughtful questions in our study guide, but the one that hit me the hardest was, "Why do you think the disciples waited to wake up Jesus?" You need to remember that a good number of Jesus' disciples were fishermen. They were quite confident of their ability to handle a boat. You also need to know that the Sea of Galilee is geographically prone to sudden, intense storms. Warm, humid air over the lake intersects with cool air funneled in by the nearby mountain passes. These men had probably handled storms before in their boats. There wasn't a lot of time or warning when this storm started, so they just got busy bailing water and taking in sail, and doing whatever else they needed to do to stay afloat. Waking up Jesus seems to be an afterthought when things were getting desperate. Maybe they thought he should help bail water, or at least be ready to abandon ship. In any case they are baffled that he is sleeping through the whole thing.

It's easy to think in my 21st century perspective that these disciples just didn't get it....until I realize that I do the same thing. When "storms" arise in my life I get busy. Maybe the challenge is unexpected, maybe there is just a lot to do, but for whatever reason I throw myself into the activity of making it through the storm forgetting that the One who can help me calm the storm is there the whole time. Quite often my boat is nearly swamped before I turn to Jesus with my favorite prayer, "Help!" Why do I wait so long? Because I think I can handle it, because I'm busy, because I forget that he is there.

In the story Jesus is sleeping. His physical body was fatigued from the many hours of teaching and touching lives that he had just experienced. We, however, can be assured that he does not sleep, nor does he slumber (Psalm 121:3). He knows the storms we are passing through and he is there, waiting and wanting to help. We just need to ask. In the story Jesus rebukes the wind and waves and everything becomes calm immediately. I don't think we are promised this same result. There are storms that He asks us to go through, but if he will not calm the storm he will calm us.

He is there and he is in control.

Giving

G is for giving.  Giving gifts is one of the ways that people express love for one another. My husband loves to give gifts. My daughter also loves to give gifts. I'd like to think it is something I've taught her, but really I think I am learning from both of them. I think it is an innate part of their personality to be so generous and to want to express love in this fashion.


It's been more challenging lately to Give gifts the way we'd like to. Between the economy and the several challenges we've faced over the last few years, we're still finding ways, but the gifts have been more "from the heart" lately instead of from the pocketbook.

• Last night my daughter decided to draw portraits of all four first grade teachers at her school to thank them for being such good teachers. She drew them, colored them, and wrote her little message to each teacher. The effort that she put into this was heart-warming. It was fun watching her deliver them this morning.
• The other day I made "Cheesy Vegetable Pie" for our family. I enjoy this recipe but hadn't made it for a while because I wasn't sure if the kids would like it. They've been enjoying vegetables more, especially zucchini, and that's one of the main ingredients, so I decided to make two pies (I always like to cook enough for two meals). Wouldn't you know it the kids' tastebuds still aren't quite ready for this one. The child liked it, but the twins did not. So my husband Gave the other pie to some sweet friends who have been through thick and thin with us the last few years. They are vegetarian, so it was a perfect match.
• Our favorite children's librarian from our local library is retiring, and we wanted to let her know how much we would miss her. She, again, has been a real Gem for our family for so many years now. Storytime just won't be the same without her. At a recent craft day she showed us how to make ziplock bag books, so we made her a ziplock bag book as a parting Gift. We used some nice scrapbook paper to make the pages, and added photos of her and our family. I had each of the children make a picture for her. I delivered it today, and it was so fun to Give it to her.

These are just a few examples that haven't cost us anything, but hopefully have meant a lot to the recipients...Giving is so important. It blesses others and in return it blesses us with fun, creativity, and joy.

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38 (NIV)

One last Gift for you...the recipe for Cheesy Vegetable Pie. Enjoy!

This was originally published in 1992 in the Wall Street Journal by Millicent Nathan

2.5 C thinly sliced zucchini and yellow squash
0.5 C thinly sliced mushrooms
1 C thinly sliced carrots
1 C chopped red onion (sweet)
2 T butter
2 T parsley flakes
1/2 t salt
1/2 t pepper
1/4 t garlic powder
1/4 t basil leaves
1/4 t oregano leaves
2 eggs, well beaten
8 oz shredded mozzarella cheese
8 oz can refrigerated crescent rolls or prepared pie crust
2 t prepared mustard

Preheat oven to 375. In large skillet, cook carrots, onion, zucchini, squash and mushrooms in butter until tender, 8 minutes. Meanwhile, beat eggs and mix with cheese in a large bowl. Separate the crescent roll triangles and press into an ungreased 10 inch pie dish, sealing seams and covering the bottom and sides of the dish (or use your prepared pie crust). Spread the crust with mustard. Add spices to the vegetable mixture and mix. Add vegetables to the egg and cheese. Pour egg and vegetable mixture into the crust. Bake 22 minutes. Rest 10 minutes before serving.

This post is participating in Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday.

To check out the other creative G posts, click here.

Vigorous and Strong

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. (Proverbs 31:10-17, NIV)

We continue to add to our picture of the Proverbs 31 woman. So far we have seen that she is noble, valuable, and eager to work. This time around verse 17 tells us that she works vigorously and that she is strong. We have already seen that her work involves making fabric, both for her family and as a business. We see here that she also provides food for her family and servants, and that from her business profits she buys land and plants a vineyard. She is quite the entrepreneur! The key thing to remember is that this is her work. My work is different, and your work is probably quite another thing altogether...the things we want to emulate are not her work or her skills, but her character. What attitude does she bring to work with her?

We've already seen that she is eager. She looks forward to getting her cloth made, and now we can see at least one reason why - it is profitable! She makes money from her cloth. She makes enough money to buy land, enough land to plant a vineyard. She typifies the diligent hands praised elsewhere as the source of wealth (e.g. Proverbs 10:4.)

Today we also see that she is vigorous - active, robust, energetic, sturdy, healthy. Interestingly, the word vigorous is used to describe the Hebrew women enslaved in Egypt before the time of Moses. The midwives in Egypt were told to kill the male Hebrew babies as a method of population control, but the midwives feared God and told Pharoah that the women were "vigorous" and gave birth before they could arrive and obey his edict. That's a powerful image! The Proverbs 31 woman is also strong - solid, not easily broken or injured. She takes care of herself so that she can take care of her family.

Self-care is so essential, and so hard to remember. In the press of school drop offs, healthy cooking,
laundry, after school (fitness!) activities, and social opportunities that we seek for our children there has to be time to take care of us, too. I know I have really struggled in this area over the last couple of years. After the twins were born I put off dental visits for myself for a while - I was busy driving the child around to various evaluations, social skill therapies, speech therapy, etc. and seeing to the basic care of the twins. There just didn't seem to be time for taking care of that filling that needed to be replaced. By the time I took care of it I needed a root canal. Lesson learned...sort of. I'm caught up on my dental work now. I have been trying to take better care of myself by walking a lot, eating better, and sleeping as much as I can. I can still tell I'm not in very good shape muscle strength-wise, but at least I am trying whereas before I was just running myself into the ground, literally.


So, note to self and to you as well. The Proverbs 31 lady was certainly busy, but amid all of her work she made sure that she was in good shape, too. Permission granted - take care of yourself!

Rebuilding the Walls

I am taking an intermission from my series on Proverbs 31 to write about something that jumped out at me the other night during our kids' story time of all things. We have some books that my mom gave us with ideas on how to answer some of kids' biggest questions about God and the Bible. Even though they are geared toward older kids our twins love carrying them around and calling them their "Bibles". So cute. They often choose to hear one of these as their story, too.

The other night they picked "102 Questions Children Ask about the Bible" and the question was:

"Why didn't the Jews ever change their clothes while they were rebuilding the walls?"

My ears perked up - maybe because I was folding laundry while Daddy was reading - is this a Biblical mandate for laundry reduction?? We read on...

You are probably familiar with the story of Nehemiah. He was cupbearer to the King - of Babylon. (Nehemiah 1:11, NIV) He was also a devout Jew and was devastated to hear that the walls of Jerusalem lay in rubble. The walls of a city at that time bespoke its reputation and more importantly provided the main defensive strategy against invaders. The Jews had been in exile in Babylon, but a remnant had returned to live in Jerusalem, still under Babylonian authority. The walls were broken down and the gates were burned. Attempts to rebuild had been labeled rebellion. Nehemiah prays, and given the opportunity, boldly asks the King for permission to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the city. Nehemiah returns to Jerusalem and devises a strategy for rebuilding the walls. It is a community effort, but not without opposition. Detractors within and without seek to keep the walls in disrepair. Discouragement, ridicule, threats, and fatigue faced them at every stage of the rebuilding. But, "the people worked with all their heart." (Nehemiah 4:6, NIV) Part of their strategy was to always be prepared for work and for a fight...half of the men did the work while half were equipped with weapons. "Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other." (Nehemiah 4:17, NIV) Lastly, they didn't spend a lot of time on creature comforts:

Neither I nor my brothers nor my men nor the guards with me took off our clothes; each had his weapon, even when he went for water. (Nehemiah 4:23, NIV)*

As I have continued to ponder this story over the last couple of days, I can't help but see some analogies to our own family. The last four years have been pretty brutal, in part from choices we made and in part from the vagaries of living in a fallen world - stuff happens. I can't list everything we've been through, but suffice it to say it has been a lot. Just when we think we're getting our feet back under us another wave of circumstance bowls us over and leaves us wondering how we'll rebuild this time. I think, without realizing it, my husband and I have followed the example of Nehemiah. We work hard. We try to prepare and react well to each situation that we face. We have trimmed away at luxuries that we once considered commonplace. I think that we can do more, though.

In particular I am considering the weapons that Nehemiah dispersed among his crew. In their case they had their spears, their shields, their bows and their armor at the ready. The weapons we need are not physical, but spiritual, and are described for us in Ephesians 6:14-18 (NIV):

Stand firm, then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests...

We need to work with one hand and be ready to fight with the other. We have the same enemies of discouragement, ridicule, threats, and fatigue hurled at us in the spiritual realm. Only God can provide us with the strength to keep rebuilding for His honor and glory.

If you find yourself in a similar position, and I know many people do these days - we aren't the only ones who have been beaten down in the last few years - I hope you will be encouraged to read the story of Nehemiah. In the end they overcome, and so shall we!



* I had to laugh when the NIV version was different from the version in the 102 Questions book. I'm not sure which version they used (it is not cited) but they quote: "During this time we never took off our clothes, except for washing. This included me, my brothers, the servants, and the guards who were with me. And we carried our weapons with us at all times. (Nehemiah 4:23)" It was the phrase "except for washing" that caught my attention. Were they washing the clothes or themselves? It is unclear. Since this version differed from the NIV I looked at the footnotes in my study Bible and saw this note, "The meaning of the Hebrew for this clause is uncertain." I believe this refers to the "even when he went for water". To me it looks like one version interpreted this as washing (something) and the other interprets it as going for water. I am no Hebrew scholar and haven't studied the Hebrew text here, but my guess is the verse should read: "...each had his weapon, even when he went to the bathroom!" Every mom I know can relate to that translation! :-)

Eager

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. (Proverbs 31:10-13, NIV)

Continuing our look at the Proverbs 31 woman, the next adjective that describes who she IS connects her character with what she does (which is sometimes what we focus on instead.) She is eager. In verse 13 her eagerness is connected with selecting wool and flax and working with them. We're pretty familiar with wool - collected from sheep and spun into yarn or thread to make clothing. Flax is a type of plant, and it's fibers can also be used to make thread that is used to make linen. We'll see later in this passage (verses 19-24) that this woman makes thread, and uses the thread to make fabric, and uses the fabric to make clothing both for her family and as a business to sell linens to the shipping merchants. This is HER WORK. I can't remember the last time I made thread from wool or flax...actually I never have, though I have seen a spinning wheel in action and have friends that do some weaving. I've tried doing a little sewing (though I'm not brave enough to make any clothing yet) but generally just purchase what we need off the shelves of local retailers. The point is that she meets her work with eager hands. What is my work, and am I eager about it?

Eager is not a word we throw around these days, so I spent some time looking it up and considering what it means. According to the World English Dictionary eager means:

• impatiently desirous (of), anxious or avid (for)
• characterized by great desire or expectancy
• feeling great desire or expectancy

The word eager in the NIV (willingly, KJV) is translated from the original Hebrew chephets (khay'-fets), which means pleasure, desire, a valuable thing and is derived from chaphets (khaw-fates'), to incline to. She takes pleasure in her work. She desires to do it. It is something she values. Given a choice she is inclined to work.

I have several different kinds of work: childcare, cooking, housework, office work, writing, and volunteering. Some of them I am eager about: cooking and writing, for example. Others I would rather disregard and go read a good book...housework probably falls in that category. Nonetheless I know that all of my work is valuable and necessary. I think I'll be looking for ways to make my work desirable, and something that I look forward to with expectancy. Perhaps if I ask God, He can show me how to be eager about it. I also think I'll be even more grateful for the work that is already pleasurable. How good that God planned for work to not be drudgery, but enjoyable.

Spread the Love

It is Valentine's Day (at least for another 15 minutes here on the West Coast) and although I know there are those who discount the day as a "Hallmark" created holiday, who can argue with a day to really set aside some time to let the special people in our lives know that we love them? It's pretty easy to avoid the commercialism and just focus on the love. These are some things our family did this year...

• Love God. It's a command, the Shema, which devoted Jews still give special honor to in their homes. It is the fundamental Love that makes all other love possible:

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (NIV, emphasis mine)

There are so many ways to express love to God, but I think one of the most important things commanded in this verse is to make your faith in God evident to your children. Our faith is not simply something that drives us to church on Sunday, it should be so ingrained in our actions, words, thoughts, and motives that our children see it and experience it every day in tangible ways.

• Love your helpmate. I wrote a post a while back about how I try to do this. Today my husband and I got creative and instead of going out for dinner we went out for brunch. It happened that his work schedule and my volunteering allowed us an hour this morning to visit a new-ish local cafe and enjoy some one-on-one time without having to pay a babysitter since the kids were all at school or preschool. These times are so rare for us that it almost doesn't matter what we talk about, it helps us refocus and reunite our efforts as a couple to be supportive and have a common vision. Thinking just a little outside the box made it possible today.

• Love yourself.  I suppose the debate will always rage whether there is truly a command to love yourself...but for any parent, and especially those of us who parent a child with special needs, it doesn't matter if it's a commandment - it's a necessity, and one that we often postpone or neglect altogether. I wrote a post about this, too. I've been spending more energy on myself lately, and trying to find ways to do it that don't take extra time away from my children and other duties. I am walking more (one side benefit of moving back to our neighborhood schools), taking time for a shower more often (though not perhaps as often as I'd like), and trying to make sure that I'm drinking lots of fluids if not water. These are small things, but they're making a difference for me - boosting my energy level and keeping me healthier for the long haul.

•  Love your children. Today I made valentine's cards for my husband and for each of my kids. It didn't take very much time, but I hope it will be a long-standing tradition and one that will eventually mean a lot to my children. I'm not a super-gushy-snuggly-mom type. I try to tell and show my kids every day that I love them. These cards are just a tangible reminder of my love. I took especial care with my oldest daughter's card. I made a heart surrounded by a rainbow, a new obsession of hers. I wrote:

I love how hard you work to learn and to help. I love how you love rainbows. I am so  proud of you! Most of all I love you because you are you!

 I tried to use simple language and my best handwriting so that she could read it all herself (a skill she is becoming increasingly confident in) and I hope the words will go deep into her sense of self-worth.

•  Love others. As part of a service project in Sunday School we decided to make Valentine's cards for some residents in an assisted living community not far from our church. We spent time each Sunday during Sunday School making cards, but also brought some home and worked on them during spare moments - while watching TV or waiting for dinner to get ready. With help from friends we made 80 valentines and delivered them Sunday after church. The staff was going to hand them out today. I'm sure many of the residents won't get many other valentines, and I hope the small gesture will remind them that people care and more importantly that God cares.

How will you spread the love this year?

Noble and Precious

So I'm jumping into my look at the inner qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman. As I already mentioned, she is often upheld as the "super-type" role model for Christian women. Reading through the list of all that she DOES could cause one to throw up one's hands in despair and crawl back into bed. I'm not sure that's why God put her in the Bible though. Somehow I think we're supposed to look at her character - who she IS - and to strive to BE rather than to DO. This is a lesson God has been impressing on me for quite a while, and it's taking a long time for it to get into my skull...and perhaps even longer to get into my heart.

To find out who this woman is I thought we could look at the adjectives that the author uses to describe her. The passage begins:

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Proverbs 31:10 (NIV) (emphasis mine)

Already we are seeing some special things about this woman. She is noble and she is worth a lot (which I will refer to as precious.)

In the original Hebrew, the word noble (New International Version, NIV) is translated from chayil (khah'-yil) which refers to a force (of means, men or other resources) producing virtue, valor, and strength. The word is derived from chuwl (khool) or chiyl (kheel) a primary root that means to twist or whirl, to dance, to writhe in pain or fear, to wait, and to make to bring forth. The King James Version (KJV) translates chayil as virtuous. The English Standard Version (ESV) says excellent. In other words this woman possesses an internal force (from some resource) that causes her to bring forth virtue (goodness), valor (courage), and strength. Boaz uses chayil to describe Ruth when she rendezvous with him to ask him to "redeem" her (Ruth 3:11). Ruth's chayil is probably what helped her stand by her mother-in-law even when it meant leaving her own family and being reduced to the status of a beggar-woman. The result of her chayil is that she became the great-grandmother of King David, and one of a handful of women listed in the genealogy of Jesus. As a Christian this chayil need not come from my own resources...I can rely on the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. There's no great virtue in anything I try to do apart from Him, actually. (Isaiah 64:6)

I was particularly struck by the reference to this woman's worth as exceeding rubies. Why not gold or diamonds? Is there something about rubies that makes this reference most apt? So I did a little research and found out that "rubies are the scarcest of all gemstones and command extremely high prices." (So ladies if your husband or significant other offers you a ruby don't pout at him that you wanted a diamond...) The author is telling us that this woman is so precious she is more costly than the rarest of jewels. It also appears that this analogy refers us back to earlier sayings in Proverbs where wisdom is considered more precious than rubies (see Proverbs 3:15 and 8:11). As such this woman personifies wisdom. Also note that the value of the woman comes from how scarce she is and yet is assigned to her by her husband (and only him), not by herself.

In all of this we can be encouraged because our virtue and our value are not dependent on ourselves. It is not our own work, but the work of Christ that makes us noble. It is not up to us to be precious on our own, rather as the Bride of Christ He has made us precious, more precious than rubies.