Book Review - Being Me

Being Me is another great public library find. I am not sure which child decided that we needed to bring this little gem home, but I'm glad it ended up in our library pile. At first I thought it was just a cute book about various personality traits of this spunky little girl with poof ball hair, which it is, but it is more. This is a little girl that almost any child can relate to. She likes dressing up, painting, doing cartwheels, and eating chocolate chip cookies. She has to do chores. When she's not at school she spends time with her baby sister and her parents. She seems like the kind of girl you would want for a friend, and she is.

The difference is so subtle, that I almost didn't catch it the first time we read the book. Stated matter-of-factly among all of the other attributes, the little girl informs us that she can't hear. In fact, it seems almost like a benefit as the page where she proclaims this bit of news is one of those "so much noise you're head will split" kind of pictures. Oh, the picture itself is quiet, but what it depicts is a blaring siren, a barking dog, a wailing baby sister and a jet plane soaring overhead. The parents are clearly out of sorts with all of the noise around them (maybe especially the baby) but the little girl is just as happy as can be.

She goes on to explain that she talks with her hands - a concept my children are familiar with thanks to Signing Time. These two differences are tied up with a neat conclusion that we are all different, even though there are a lot of things we have in common, too. Differences are celebrated - I love you, you love me. That's it. Short, sweet, simple. Perfect.

This is exactly the sort of thing we've been talking about a lot at our house recently. Helping the child understand how she is different from her peers has been an on-going conversation. I know it is sticking because she keeps asking me questions about autism. Helping her understand that her differences are just a part of her and not something to be ashamed of is important to me. She is loved, and while the things that make us the same help us to get along and get things done, differences are important, too.

Some features that I have grown to love about this book are the illustrations, which pack a lot of meaning into the simple prose. To me the characters are all fairly ambiguous ethnically, which adds to the universal appeal of the children in the story. The text is simple enough that my four-year-olds have enjoyed reading the story again and again. Hopefully we can fit in a few more readings before we take it back to the library.

Sunday Digest 41

I think I'm slowly getting back into the swing of posting more frequently here (and keeping up at 5 Minutes, too...) Part of that is keeping up with following a lot of other blogs to keep the inspiration flowing. Here are some of the links I've come across in my perusing...

1) I wrote a post on Trisomy 9  about a month ago, and had the privilege of having a Trisomy 9 Mom stop by and comment on it. Turns out that Erin has her own blog where she writes about all the challenges they face. Here is a link to the story of her son's diagnosis, be sure to check out other posts, too.

2) OH...how I relate to Autism & Oughtisms post about the endless questions of childhood. Oh yes, we've been there, and still go there every once in a while. I've even blogged about it. "Why don't you crash into the car in front of you, Mommy?" was the child's favorite question for about three months and every time we were driving in the mini-van she would ask. Sadly we saw a bad car accident on the side of the road one day on the way home, and when I told her that's what happens when you crash, the question turned into "What happens to the car after it's crashed?" and I answered that one every time we saw a tow truck hauling a smashed up vehicle. Now I am asked to recall the finest details of my own childhood...and "I don't remember" is not a satisfactory answer. And yet, when I consider how hard she has worked to get her language to the level of asking questions...I swallow my impatience and try hard to answer in a way that will keep the conversation going.

3) Another been there, done that, moment from Bird on the Street - who has an older child with special needs, and twins (just like me)...but she's pregnant with baby number four, and we're not going there...hat's off to you, Katy! Anyway Katy tells the story of taking her three children to the pediatrician. Those of you without kids are thinking "What's hard about that?" and those with children are thinking "What was she thinking?" I actually do this all the time because I prefer the short term chaos to having three separate appointments where I have to find child care for one or two other children; but it ain't fun...let me tell you. Or let Katy tell you...

4) Had to check in with Praying for Parker. All of Tammy's posts teach me a lot. This one was especially touching to see Parker enjoying his favorite books with his Grandma and see the special bond they have. Sweet.

5) We are big Signing Time fans around here, although I need to expand our library of DVDs. We have used simple signs to help enforce rules, in particular, around our house. It helps me stay calm, for some reason, and it helps the kids pay a little extra attention. Rachel has been posting about a trip to Ghana where she helped a school for deaf children learn to use sign language in their curriculum. Reading these stories is a great reminder to count our blessings, and also to reach out to bless others...and also to keep exploring sign language with my kids.

That's it for this round...I hope you enjoy the links as much as I did. Please tell them you heard about them through The Simple Life.

Sunday Digest 14

Happy Valentine's Day to all my readers! I think today's links have a common theme of how much we as a society, as a Christian community, and as individuals have to learn about love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not
self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. I Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)

1) This on-line article at ChristianityToday.com considers a Christian response to a research study aimed at developing drug therapies for individuals with Down Syndrome. Should developmental delays, particularly those caused by genetic variations be considered as a disease to be cured? If treatment is administered does it mean we don't value that individual as they are created? Interesting questions and comments...

2) This blog post by Shatter Nicely makes me sad. Though clearly only one component of what pushed her away from Christianity, I hope this church's (small c) response to a special needs child (ADHD) and his parents is becoming a thing of the past. I'll have to finish reading this series.

3) More from crosswalk.com on eliminating the R-word from our vocabulary.

4) A beautiful video I first spotted on 5 Minutes for Special Needs. It says a lot!

5) To provide the best care for our children we need help in a lot of areas. This post at Hopeful Parents suggests three key areas that are the foundation of a strong support system.

Signs of Success

Hindsight is so 20/20. When our oldest daughter was 18-months old and non-verbal, a friend suggested using sign language with her. I started by teaching her the sign for done. After a few days of me using the sign at every opportunity, she did not sign back, but she did say, "done!" This was her first word. Instead of viewing this as a signing success (since she didn't sign back) I figured she was ready to talk and didn't do any more sign language. And she didn't learn any more words for six months. It is easy to slap my forehead in disbelief at my naivete now, but at the time I didn't realize what I was giving up, or what was going on.

We recently started using sign language (ASL) more after learning more about our daughter's various delays. It started by wanting to give her a hand motion to match each house rule that we wanted her to learn. She responded so well to this, and actually told me that the signs are helpful to her, that we've started signing even more. A good friend pointed me to the "Signing Time" videos, which all of our kids like watching, and they are all learning the signs. We've also checked out a few books from the library for additional signing vocabulary. If nothing else it is a fun and educational activity that all of my children enjoy, YAY!...but there seems to be more to it.

Especially since I'm just learning to sign again (dredging up some quite rusty memories from my high school era) I do not sign with my kids all the time, but I am strategically learning signs to accompany challenging and/or important conversations, like:

• enforcing the house rules
• talking about emotions (are you feeling happy, sad, grumpy, etc.)
• frustrating situations (need help?)
• mealtimes (more, done, please, thank you)
• play time (your turn, share)
• and story time (whatever words in a book that I know I try to practice those signs)

It has been a powerful tool to add to my toolbox, and one that I hope will continue to become more useful as I learn more.