Thursday, May 28, 2009

Learning About God's Love

A few weeks ago our Pastor challenged us to dig deeper into our love relationship with God. Each day he e-mailed us something to meditate on along with scriptures and songs that were related to that day's focus. Little did I know that God had a hands-on lesson in mind for me. Tuesday's assignment was to seek an understanding of the depth of God's love for me.

Tuesday mornings can be chaotic at our house. My husband very thoughtfully takes our daughter to her special preschool program on his way to work. This saves me a trip to school, but costs me a few gray hairs probably. I am the ringmaster of a three ring circus on these mornings. In ring one we have a five-year-old who needs a strict routine of snuggle time, getting dressed time, breakfast time and get ready to go time, all of which needs some level of practical or emotional support. In ring two we have a husband who may be interrupted in his routine by urgent phone calls, e-mails, etc. In ring three we have two babies who wake up somewhere in the middle of all of this, sometimes with an urgent diaper, always needing supervision. Meanwhile besides keeping everyone on track I am in charge of preparing breakfast for everyone and packing lunches for two people. This is the baseline. I don't remember particulars of that Tuesday morning, but I do recall sending my husband and daughter out the door with less than a pleasant look on my face. I felt like my ringmaster role was not being respected. What good is it to announce the next act if the performers won't perform?

I stomped my way into our home office and checked e-mail to cool down a little before facing the twins over oatmeal and sippy cups. There in my inbox was the still small voice of God in the form of a suggested prayer to Him:

Dear Jesus, thank you for loving me, while I was still so unlovely. Thank you for demonstrating your love to me by giving everything for me. Please impress on me today, the depth of your love, cause me to understand and cause me to walk in your love. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Not only did God love me at that exact moment when I was anything but lovely (jammie clad, uncombed, red-faced and grumpy) but He could provide the love I needed to give to my own family.

Our children can teach us a lot about the love of God: how to receive it, how to bestow it, how deep it runs, and how much we need it.


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