Homework

Yes, my daughter is just finishing first grade and we have homework. I admit I have mixed feelings about this. I don't remember doing much homework when I was in first grade, but then I don't remember much about first grade. It seems like certain academic skills are getting pushed down to earlier grades. For instance fractions and some simple multiplication concepts were introduced in my daughter's class this year. I don't remember learning about multiplication until 4th grade, but then no one's expecting her to memorize times tables (which is what we did when I was in 4th grade)...and they explained fractions by making pizzas out of paper and cutting them into equal portions. I'm worried about all of this acceleration of the academic world. I've written about it before, and encourage you to consider watching "The Race to Nowhere" - a documentary that discusses this topic on the high school level (before release it was called "Slipping Behind"). So I'm a bit sad that my daughter even has homework at her age, and particularly since it is hard for her to manage on her own. It is really more work for me - to get her started on it, to help her understand the directions, to make sure she follows through, to check it, to correct without leading her to the answer or making her feel like she failed, to make sure she turns it in...Then again it is one of very few chances I have to assess for myself exactly where she's at academically. To see that she still mixes up plus and minus, to see that translating words into math problems is almost impossible for her, to see that her phonetic spelling is still a bit off.

So here are a few things I learned this year:

• Homework is tough for everyone. My volunteer position at school this year involved collecting the homework sheets at the end of the week. I was reassured to note that we aren't the only family that had trouble getting it done. We did more than some families, and less than others, but each family at one point or another needed a break and took it. It never resulted in the world ceasing to spin.
• Be flexible if possible. Our first grade teachers asked us to read each day with our child and then they listed several suggested activities to do during the week. They generally asked us to pick three to do. This was wonderful for us because having a choice is always empowering for my daughter. It fit right in with our general strategy of approaching hard things. "Would you like to do x or y?" Where x and y are both things we can live with that get us to our goal, in this case getting homework done. You may not have a choice about what you do, but you can choose the order, or how much to do now versus later, or if you want to use a pen or a pencil, etc.
• Stay organized. This is the hardest one for me. Monday we would get our homework sheet. Friday we were supposed to turn it in. Sometimes I would find it buried on the kitchen island on Thursday night with nary a thing written on it. On my best weeks we would clip it to a clipboard and keep it in a place where I would see it every evening after dinner. We would pick one activity and catch up the reading log, then Thursday it was ready to put in the backpack all set to go to school. I liked those weeks best.
• Take a break if you need it. When we hit rough patches over the year homework was the last thing on my mind. Busy work times, mild regressions for my daughter, major challenges with my mother-in-law...we would still do our reading, but if we didn't get the rest done I didn't sweat it. Like I said, the world kept on spinning.
• Talk to the teacher. Whenever I felt like we needed a break I would check in with the teacher. She was always understanding. She assured me that reading was the most important thing. She understood when we were working on big projects (like Science Fair) and often had good ideas of things to try to make it easier. You may be stressing out about it more than the teacher intends, so it's always a good idea to check signals.
• Get it in writing. I'm told that it is possible to get homework accommodations and revisions written into your child's IEP. We have not found this step to be necessary yet, but if we do it's nice to know. This way there is no confusion about what is expected of you and your child, and that's always a good thing.

Since we're pretty new to this homework journey I'd love to hear your ideas as well. What works for your family? What challenges have you had and how do you address them? Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Just click on "comments" below to leave a comment or read what others have to say.

Sunday Digest 27

It's been a while since I've written a digest. Between taking some time off over New Year's and rearranging my writing schedule a bit it just hasn't fallen into the rotation, but here we are...the first Sunday Digest of 2011. Given the gap I should have plenty of material to choose from.

1) I wanted to start off with a moving video posted by our new friend, Justin Buzzard. We met Justin because he has spoken several times at our church while we are seeking a new pastor. Justin is an excellent preacher, and is starting a church in the San Jose area...in case you're looking. He is also the uncle of Brody, who is affected by autism. Brody's parents took some photos of him at a recent beach outing and overlaid "10 Things Every Child with Autism Wants You to Know..." If you've been looking for a good way to pass this information on to someone, well here it is.

2) Here the inimitable Varda explains why we need to keep telling people how to understand and help our children reach their full potential, regardless of what their challenges and needs might be. It wasn't that long ago that children with special needs were sent off to institutions without question, or worse.

3) Ever have one of those moments when your temper gets the best of you and you can't seem to get a grip on your anger? Please don't tell me I'm the only one...My fellow 5 Minutes for Special Needs contributor, Laurie, shared some of the secrets she's learned over the years to get a grip on her anger. Fake swearing...love it!

4) I've been attending some IEP meetings with a friend. Perhaps that's one reason this piece, sort of retrospectively viewing the IEP track of education over the long haul jumped out at me. The analogy at the end is powerful.

5) Last but not least, we've been encountering lots of situations lately where I wish I knew better how to support my daughter's social skills. Hartley shared some of the things she's learned here. I definitely need to try a couple of these to see if they will help in our scenarios.

Five Tips for IEP Preparation

Today I attended my first triennial Individual Education Plan (IEP) meeting. It was not for our daughter, but for a friend of ours. I was glad to go because our first triennial will happen sometime in the next few months here (it's complicated) and I wanted to see what it was like. In today's meeting the answer was: LONG, crowded, and more to come. In this case eleven people were in the meeting room and five were conferenced in by phone. Six people had some kind of report to read and there were quite a few goals to review and revise. I'm still on a big learning curve when it comes to IEP meetings, but there are some things that I think are generally helpful no matter what sort of meeting you're heading into...

Don't go alone. Let's face it - it's intimidating sitting in a room with a bunch of experts often using professional lingo that you may or may not understand, trying to listen to what they are saying, writing things down so you can remember what was said later, thinking about how to respond, keeping emotions in check, etc. Bring a friend, a fellow special needs parent, or another family member. Even if the other person just takes notes it will let you focus more on the other roles you must play during the meeting. This is the role I filled for our friend, taking eight pages of notes.

Remember you are part of the team. This cuts two ways. First, it means that you should try at all times to maintain a professional demeanor. There may be times when this is extremely difficult, which I can say from personal experience. As a parent your emotions will be running strong, but it's really important to keep your cool. Second, don't discount the importance of your role. The other members of the team may know more about speech, occupational therapy, psychology, education or behavior theory, but you know more about your child. You know that they like the color yellow for everything or that they really hate it when the seams on their socks get under their toes. You know how their day at school affects the rest of their day, and you know how to get them to do stuff. You know what works and what doesn't, and THIS is the key to truly individualizing an education plan. There are a lot of general practices that work most of the time for some kids, but you know the little tweaks that will make it work for your kid. Without your input the experts can be left experimenting, and this can waste precious time.

Ask for reports ahead of time. Particularly if there has been a recent assessment, but even for simple progress reports, it is good to look written reports over before you're at the meeting. Remember you will be busy listening, thinking, responding, and staying calm. The last thing you want to be doing is reading through a report laced with jargon, graphs, and test scores in the midst of all this activity. We have generally found that even requesting reports ahead of time you may not get them until the day before, but it's still worth it to read through the reports. Mark things you agree with, things you disagree with, questions you have, and action items that you can draw out of the report.


Go in with clear expectations. I call these my bare minimums. I go into the meeting knowing what I want to come out with. Careful here - you may not get it! It's still good to go in with a list of what you want to see happen. You may decide during the meeting that what the school is offering is equivalent, sufficient, better, or unacceptable, but if you go in without knowing what you want then you won't know how to respond at all.

Give yourself time to reflect. I know I always need a few hours (or days, even) after an IEP meeting to process my emotions, consider what was offered or suggested, and formulate my response. We do not sign approval on the IEP plan until after this processing time is over. You are required to sign that you were present at the meeting, but you don't have to approve the IEP until you are ready to do so. This can sometimes mean a second meeting, but sometimes (as in today's meeting) that has to happen anyway. Often you can just meet your child's case manager (the school staff member who coordinates IEP actions) to sign the paperwork if that is all that is needed. Also be aware that you, as a member of the IEP team, have the right to call another meeting at any time, so even after you sign an IEP if you have concerns that something isn't working for your child you can revisit the plan and work together to address your concerns.

Finally, I wanted to note again that for parents of faith an IEP meeting often has a spiritual component. One of my early posts here addressed those concerns. You can view that post here.

What's your favorite IEP tip?

Dyslexia

After profiling several rare disorders I thought I should look at something that is quite common. According to some sources Dyslexia is the most common learning disability among children - it affects an individual's ability to read, write, spell and sometimes speak even though their cognitive abilities are average and there is no hearing or vision impairment to explain the difficulty. Dyslexia can be mild or severe and is a life-long condition with no cure. However, the symptoms may change over time, and many strategies and coping skills can be learned to overcome the challenges. I was told some time ago that children with speech and language delays are more likely to have challenges later with reading, so I've been on the look out for dyslexia in my daughter for quite a while. She is now almost seven, and she is reading, but still struggling somewhat. Her teacher assures me that she's on track and progressing. I decided I should educate myself a little and learn what exactly I should be watching for.

When I started researching for this post all I knew about dyslexia is the symptom of writing letters and numbers backward or mixing up the sequence of letters or digits when reading or writing. Reversing letters and numbers apparently is quite common until age seven or eight and then should diminish. Some other symptoms of dyslexia include:

• disorganized writing
• challenges remembering story elements even from favorites
• difficulty with spatial relationships - both academic and athletic
• confusion of left and right; may not use one hand dominantly
• difficulty moving in rhythm with music
• may not remember or understand oral instructions
• following more than one command at a time is challenging
• may struggle with verbal expression, at a loss for words even if they know what they want to say.
• emotional difficulties may arise - withdrawal, depression, poor self-esteem
• behavioral issues - social challenges, acting out, may appear lazy

Some of these symptoms of course overlap with other disorders, so it is important to pursue appropriate assessments in order to reach an accurate diagnosis. Evidently there is a whole list of tests and assessments that can be used to pinpoint the exact area of difficulty a student is having with their reading. Appropriate strategies and coping skills can then be taught to overcome that challenge.

There are actually three main causes of dyslexia:
1) Trauma induced dyslexia occurs after some accident or other injury affects the area of the brain that controls reading and writing. This is increasingly rare in our populations, probably thanks to the now widespread use of car seats and seat belts in vehicles, and helmets for bicycling, etc.

2) Primary dyslexia occurs from the congenital dysfunction of the cerebral cortex (left hemisphere) and is an inherited disorder that most commonly affects boys. This form does not change over time and often limits reading abilities to a fourth grade level.

3) Developmental dyslexia is thought to be caused by hormonal effects during early fetal development. This form is also more common in boys, but also diminishes as the individual matures.

Parents should consult with school staff if they suspect dyslexia is affecting their child's ability to learn. If the child already has an IEP their plan can be modified to specifically address this concern. If the student does not already have an IEP the school will likely begin by assembling a Student Study Team which includes relevant school staff and the parents. Within this team a strategy to assess and support the student's learning can be developed.

For more information about dyslexia:


MedicineNet article and discussion
Learning Disabilities Online

I also thought I would mention that a friend of mine, Janet Ann Collins, recently published a children's book where some of the main characters are affected by dyslexia. It's called Signs of Trouble. She posted the cover art on Facebook today, and I'm sure that influenced my choice of topic for this post!

Changing Schools - Part Two

This post is the second in a series on transitioning to a new school. My Monday posts will focus on this topic for several weeks because it is a large and complex topic. Also, this post is participating in the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge at Steady Mom. You can catch up with the series by reading Part One here.

So far I've told you about our school district changing our daughter's placement to our home school, my intial emotional responses and the choice we eventually made to accept her transition to a new school. That choice was made primarily because we wanted to give her the best chance for a well-supported change to a new environment and a new social circle. I wanted to share the details of our transition plan in hopes that it will help others in a similar situation to establish their own good plans. Please note that this was separate from considering the level of support, services, and IEP goals for the next year...this was just to focus on helping her understand and be comfortable with starting out at a new school.

1) We gathered information. Prior to telling our daughter anything about what was going on, I met with some trusted private resources, the principal at the new school, and the IEP team at her "old" school to ask questions, get advice, request some accommodations or support, and establish lines of communication. All of this helped the next steps fall into place...

2) We broke the news. We used a social story to tell our daughter that she'd be going to a different school next Fall. I'll share more details on this next post. The timing was not ideal, but the story was very effective in helping her understand what was happening, helping her share the news with her peers, and giving us an idea of what was most troubling to her about the change.

3) We took some field trips. My daughter and I attended open house night in the first grade classrooms at the new school. We met the teachers (although some of them will not be teaching first grade next Fall), and we took pictures of things that were interesting to her. Later we took a special guided tour with an instructional support teacher (IST) and met the Occupational Therapist and Speech Pathologist who will work with her at the new school. [In our case she already knows these ladies, but it was good for her to see them ahead of time at her new school - she has pretty strict ideas about who belongs where, so seeing them there before she has to start working with them there was excellent.] She also met the school psychologist, the receptionist, the principal, and a few other staff who were around. We took lots of pictures on this trip, too. Nearly every week we walk over to the new school to play on the playground and try to connect with other children there

4) We wrote another social story. The IST used some of our photos and some of hers to make another story specifically about the new school. It has pictures of all of the people we've met, and some key places like the playground, the lunch room, the computer lab, and the library.

5) We called some friends. We already know a few families with children entering first grade at the new school. We've had a couple of playdates with a couple of them at the school. We're hoping to do a few more of these in the next several weeks so that our daughter will have some more familiar peer relationships established.

6) The adults met again. We had a transition IEP meeting (I believe these are required any time a student transfers between schools) where the "old" IEP team met with the "new" IEP team (there is some overlap in these in our case) to discuss our daughter's program, and the specific supports that she will need this coming year. At this meeting I also presented an updated parent report and walked through the remaining steps of the transition plan.

7) We will prime the pump. What remains is to continue to prepare our daughter for each new step of entering first grade. She will meet her teacher before school starts, and hopefully visit "her" room again, this time knowing it is "hers". We will either add these pieces to her second social story or write a new one. As each activity is added to her schedule we will make a visual schedule to help her know what is coming next. Hopefully we can continue to support making new friends, too.

There are probably other steps that could be taken to help a child be more comfortable going to a new school. I'd love to hear your ideas since we're still in the middle of this...do share!

Changing Schools - Part One

This post is the first in a series on transitioning to a new school. My Monday posts will focus on this topic for several weeks because it is a large and complex topic. Also, this post is participating in the Moms' 30-Minute Blog Challenge at Steady Mom.

In March we were told that our daughter's Individual Education Plan (IEP) goals and services could now be provided at our "home school" which is always preferred as the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE) and therefore her placement was changed. Even though she had attended her current school for three years through Early Intervention Preschool (EIP) and Kindergarten, even though the child has trouble moving from one daily activity to the next much less through large changes, even though she struggles to establish good peer relationships, even though...we were faced with a decision that essentially had been made for us. At the end of our IEP meeting we were preparing to sign forms to indicate our presence at the meeting and our approval of the plan. I stated that I approved of the services and goals, but that I did not approve of the placement decision. I asked how I should sign the forms to indicate non-agreement and was told that it was not a decision I could approve or disapprove, it was simply where the district had decided to place her.

I left that meeting in a fog. We've learned not to discuss "uncertain" things with our daughter, so I knew I would have to mask my frustration and confusion from her until we had figured out what we should do. This took a lot of effort and didn't leave a lot of energy over for daily functioning. As a result one of our cherished stoneware plates met its end on our stone dining room floor later that evening. I was almost non-functional. After the kids were in bed I fired off e-mails to several trusted resources, set up a meeting with two wonderful mentors, got some of my thoughts down on paper/screen, and went to bed to finally let the tears wash away all the pent up emotion.

To get the full impact of this story you have to understand that we had already uprooted our daughter once from a dear neighborhood preschool because we couldn't supply appropriate support resources in that setting. Moving her completely to the campus that hosts our district's Early Intervention programs had drastically changed our family's "M.O." Instead of walking to school we drove 10 minutes each way, sometimes several times a day. We developed social circles for ourselves and our daughter in this other neighborhood, and after a rough start she had begun to really blossom there. We felt like the stability of being in one place for more than one year had contributed to her progress. The prospect of changing schools felt like taking a tender seedling, and ripping it out by the roots to transplant it again. Allowing myself to process all of the emotions that came with this "out of my hands" decision was not only cathartic, it was necessary to clear my mind and let me focus on the next more pragmatic steps.

We had to find out what our options were: 1) Fight the transition. 2) Question the transition. 3) Accept the transition.

1) Fighting - There is always the option of going to arbitration or fair hearing. These processes can take months and generally require hiring advocates and/or lawyers, and in this case we had little evidence that the placement decision was "wrong" in any legal sense of the word. Home school placement is always considered LRE if IEP objectives can be met there.

2) Questioning - We could apply for an intradistrict transfer. Every district has its own way of handling requests like these. In our district you apply in April or so and you get an answer back in June. From past experience we knew that Summer is not a good time to work through complicated IEP issues, and regardless of which direction the district decided the IEP would need to be re-worked. If they denied our transfer request and we had to accept the transition we would be left with fewer resources to support the transition, and for our daughter good transitions are a necessary as food and water (well almost). This would also mean keeping this secret from our daughter much longer. It would also mean, we found out later, allowing her to develop misconceptions about where she would attend 1st grade that would be much harder to break down afterward

3) Accepting the transition in March/April gave us more time to develop a transition plan with support and input from the schools and district personnel. It also let us move back to our original "Family M.O." Our younger children will (eventually) attend that lovely neighborhood preschool and we'll be able to walk everywhere that we want to, and hopefully rebuild social circles that were previously put in limbo. Before fully accepting the change in schools we did some private assessments and waited for the second term report card to come in to be sure our daughter looked "ready" to us to make such a big leap.

In other situations, and for other families there might be other options to consider if school placement becomes an issue. In other situations, and for other families, our decision to accept the placement decision might not be the right choice. For us it has worked (so far), and it has allowed us to focus on developing a good transition plan, which I'll share in the next post.

Sunday Digest 17

I am just re-entering "regular" life after a two day retreat, which is becoming an annual "must go to this" event for me. I always come away with new ideas to make my own spiritual life deeper and more meaningful which in turn helps me stay on track as I mother my children. That said, I'm super tired (perhaps my only complaint is the bed I slept on had a not so great mattress, at least for someone who is spoiled by a heated water bed!) So today's digest will be brief, and hopefully not too random. I'll share more thoughts from the retreat as appropriate here.

1. Back when the Olympics were on we added local channels to our satellite TV service and started seeing ads for NBC's new series "Parenthood." Then I read a post by one of my local heroes, Laura Shumaker, and learned that there is a character in the show who has Asperger's Syndrome. I've watched several episodes now, and aside from my dismay at the amoral direction of the character's choices and values, I think they have done a good job presenting the dilemmas of a family facing a new diagnosis of their child. Too bad we had to cancel the local channels again. I haven't decided if I enjoy it enough to watch it online here.

2. For more special needs "television" check out Exceptional Family TV. These are not actors, but real individuals trying to tell the world their special needs family story both for purposes of advocacy and to encourage others who are walking the same road. Thanks to Bird on the Street for passing along the information.

3. Lauren over at Hopeful Parents had some good insights into how to help your child learn skills that will help them be more independent as they transition to adulthood...it apparently happens way too fast.

4. My blogging role model, Jamie, over at Steady Days, shared some thoughts about how she copes during hard times with her child. I know I'll be looking back to this post next time we hit troubled waters...really great ideas.

5. Lastly, I about fell off my chair when I saw the title of this piece. Prevent Autism? Really?? Have a Healthy Baby! (Guaranteed?). Last I checked (which is pretty often these days) there is no KNOWN cause of autism (aside from some genetic pre-disposition, which I'm pretty sure one cannot control)...therefore it seems to me it would be pretty hard to PREVENT it, much less GUARANTEE people a healthy baby. I did watch the video. There isn't anything necessarily wrong with any of the advice this woman gives. Of course people should avoid toxins when they're pregnant for multiple reasons. There is, however, a sense that if you have a child with autism and you somehow missed one of these steps (like having all your old metal fillings removed) well, there you go. All I can say is UGH.

Number One Advocacy Need

It is IEP season in these parts. One friend already had hers and shared some concerns. Our meeting happens this week. Others are coming. For those unfamiliar with the term, an IEP is an Individual Education Plan. After a child has been assessed by professionals working with the school district they reside in and found to have educational needs that cannot be met in a general education environment, an IEP is put together by a team of professionals (general education teachers, speech therapists, occupational therapists - OT, psychologists, special education teachers, administrators) and the child's parents/guardians. The IEP includes specific goals that everyone will work together to help the child make progress on. The IEP also states the amount of time extra services (speech, OT, social supports) will be provided on a weekly basis, and how much time the child will spend in a general education classroom. IEP is also used to refer to meetings of this team of people. At least one IEP meeting happens each year, although anyone on the team is allowed to request meetings at other times. Last Fall we had IEP meetings every other week on average for about two months. Hairy, yes, but worth it in the results we've had with our daughter's program.

Long introduction to my topic for this advocacy post. In my opinion there are two essential advocacy roles for being a special needs parent: awareness and acceptance in the community, and appropriate education. Currently 30% of my daughter's waking hours are spent at school. That percentage is only going to increase in the days to come. Since many peer relationships develop there, though they may extend beyond the school walls, that 30% overlaps a great deal with her "community." In other words, the more positive her school environment is, the easier it is to garner acceptance in the community at large. Thus our main focus to date has been advocating at our school. We have learned "on the job". I look back on our earliest IEP meetings when I simply signed the forms and went on with my day with a mixture of amusement and chagrin. Now I feel like an essential part of the IEP team, one who helps the various professionals understand how their various strategies and programs need to be tailored to our daughter's specific needs in order to be most effective. I must also say that we are blessed to live in a great school district with excellent staff and professionals. I am aware, however, of other districts where parents have no support and professionals are downright negligent to their duties and their students.

I keep wondering if the current system is really enough, even in the best of situations. Blog posts like this one make it clear it is not enough. Parents are concerned that their children are being side-lined because teachers can't see beyond their wheelchair to their potential. Parents feel painted into a corner of homeschooling because they are the only ones who will give their child the time and attention they need to communicate their thoughts. Other children languish because no one will try even the simplest of tools to connect with them.

For some time now I've been dreaming of a school where every kid is met on their own terms. Every person has abilities, gifts, strengths, things they excel at. Every person also has challenges; some are more profound than others. Imagine a place where every child can expand their abilities and strengths and be supported in their challenges, and even taught how to address their challenges through their strengths. Imagine them all helping each other to excel, succeed, thrive, and enjoy as they learn, explore, and think. Doesn't it sound lovely? How does one even begin to build such a place? This I do not know. I think one begins with parents like those who commented on Bird on the Street, and then one appeals to a wider community of parents with children of all abilities, and finally one invites experts, professionals, and passionate educators who can catch the vision.

That's a big dream to drop in your lap and walk away, but I'm not sure where else to go with it at this point. If you have a similar dream, or can catch the vision I invite you to comment here. Meanwhile I ask you to plug along where you are...advocating as well as you know how...for every child to have the opportunity to reach their full potential.

Sunday Digest 15

1) In doing some research for some friends I found out that the Special Education Rights and Responsibilities (2005) publication of Protection and Advocacy, Inc. Is available on-line here. Unfortunately there isn't a newer version, and a lot of important changes happened in 2005. However, the first chapter, which gives an overview of special education law, has been annotated to reflect those changes. This resource puts parental rights and responsibilities into plain English, and presents the material in a question/answer format that I find very helpful when I'm looking for one specific bit of information.

2) Another resource for IEP meetings...another reason to consider getting an iPhone? This is an iPhone app that is supposed to help both parents and teachers store information and make sure that a student's IEP meets federal requirements. I do not own an iPhone, so I can't say whether this is useful or not. It sounds good. If you have an iPhone and want to try it out and let me know...

3) This video is a good explanation of Fragile X Syndrome. Fragile X is the only KNOWN cause of autism. A group of parents and professionals caring for individuals affected by Fragile X were in Washington, D.C. this past week advocating for all families with special needs. Because of the link between Fragile X and autism, any basic research that advances diagnosis or treatment of Fragile X could potentially yield progress in the same direction for autism. Learn more from the video or from fragileX.org.

4) I recently saw two articles about Kristi Yamaguchi in different magazines. Still caught up in the Olympic spirit (I still have approximately 35 hours recorded on our DVR to watch) I read both articles with increased respect for this icon of figure skating. Now that she has retired from competitive skating she has started a foundation called Always Dream. At least one focus of the organization is to encourage and support children with special needs. They opened an accessible playground in Fremont, CA in January 2010. After reading the first article I was curious about how Ms. Yamaguchi developed this passion. The second article explained that when she was born Ms. Yamaguchi had club feet. Several operations and years of therapy later you'd never know it from watching her skate!

5) I am fascinated by Temple Grandin. There was recently a documentary on HBO about her life. In case you are not familiar, she was diagnosed with autism at age 2.5 years (1950s era) and is now a professor of animal science. She has written a couple of books about her experiences. I reviewed her book Emergence several months ago. Today on twitter I found this video of Dr. Grandin lecturing on autism. It is over an hour long. I haven't watched the whole thing, but the part I have watched so far has been very informative, interesting, and entertaining even! I think we have a lot to learn from her...

Sunday Digest 6

1. This time of year all sorts of kids are starting all sorts of new activities, but when I saw this article at 5 Minutes for Special Needs, it really made me think. How brave that this mom is helping her child do something that many might say she should never do. How sweet that her big brother is coming alongside to teach her and encourage her. What a great example to all of us!

2. I can relate to this post at Blissfully Domestic. I can't tell you the number of times I've been mid-tug-of-war with my daughter and God hits a little bell "Ding! This is how you sometimes look to Me, but I still love you!" It happens most commonly when she is begging for something that I want to give her, but just can't yet (like juice right before dinner). I'm asking her to wait and she just keeps begging. Listening to God's little bell helps me respond in a more loving way.

3. Researchers at UCLA seem to be making headway in developing a program to teach teens with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) how to make friends. Seems like great news! I want to know if they can do the same with a five year old. If so, sign us up! I don't want to wait eight years.

4. In case you are wondering or don't already know, ideally this is how the whole Individual Education Plan (IEP) is supposed to work. Reality...well... (By the way, it looks like this article originated in Iowa, so "Child Find" may not exist in your state. I've never heard of such a program in California...)

5. I have been curious for some time how autism and other special needs are affecting developing countries. This post on Hopeful Parents answers my question and shares about an organization that is directly working with parents in these countries to help them learn strategies to help their children. Amazing.


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My little girl is starting Kindergarten in just over a week. I have mixed emotions of pride and trepidation as I prepare to send my oldest into what may prove to be her biggest challenge yet. A good portion of the Summer, for me, has been all about preparing for this next big move. One of my favorite pieces of the transition plan is what I want to share with you in this post. I did not come up with this idea on my own. One of the parent support groups that we've been active with posted this tool on their website. The idea of a Parent Report is to introduce your child to their teacher in writing. It lets you communicate who your child is, what their specific needs are, what their strengths are, and various techniques or strategies that work best at home and may translate to a classroom. It also lets you express thoughts about confidentiality and advocacy that are otherwise hard to communicate. I added a picture of my daughter, plus one of some artwork that she did (see above) and one of her more creative dress up outfits. If you follow the Parent Report link above you'll be taken to a page where you can download a template for a report. Customize it for your child and hand it over to your child's teacher at the earliest possible opportunity. I tweaked the format a little bit, and wrote about each of the following topics:

Overview - 2 sentence introduction
2008-2009 School Year - what her Early Intervention Program looked like
Summer 2009 - where we travelled, summer activities and therapies
General challenges - important points that didn't fall neatly into other categories
Developmental Issues - specific diagnoses and areas of challenge
Recommendations - things that have worked successfully at home or in previous schooling
Typical day and home life - an outline of her day
Home Program - what we do as a family to support her
Confidentiality vs. Community building - do you want total privacy or do you want to help advocate not only for your child but for other special needs children, or something in between?

Our report ended up being five pages. On the one hand it seems like a lot for someone to read, on the other hand it hardly seems adequate to summarize the complex individual that my child is. If nothing else, it helped me solidify my own ideas of my best hopes for this first year of formal education. I hope it will be helpful to you as well.

Five Ways to Prepare your Spirit for an IEP

It is IEP (Individual Education Plan) season in our area. Especially for parents of children who will undergo a transition from one phase of education to another (e.g. preschool to elementary school) or from one agency to another (e.g. Regional Center to School District Early Intervention Program) this time of year is busy and stressful. I've seen a lot of resources that explain how to prepare practically for an IEP. Knowing your rights and consulting with experts outside the agency you're dealing with are important steps. As a person of faith I've found that it is just as important to prepare for these meetings in the spiritual realm. Even the most straightforward meeting can be challenging, and IEPs are rarely straightforward. Here are some ideas that I've used.

1. Get prayer support. I developed a list of ten family members and friends that know us and know God. I often e-mail them when a particularly stressful IEP is on our calendar. I send them a brief explanation for why this meeting is so critical, and I ask for specific prayer for any services we're seeking or decisions we're making. I also ask for prayer that we will be good witnesses of God's grace and love. I try to also let them know how the meeting went so they will hear how God answered their prayers and how they can continue to pray.

2. Keep short accounts. Search your heart for any anger or bitterness that has been allowed to take root. Consider each participant in the meeting: teachers, other professionals or experts, advocates, your spouse, your child, and even yourself. It is easy to start playing the blame game when you feel like someone is not giving your child what they need, but being angry imprisons you. It's hard to be a good advocate for your child when you are bound up in your own emotions. Forgiveness is a choice. Sometimes it is a choice that must be made repeatedly in order to be able to work through difficult situations as a team.

3. Enlist practical help from the Body of Christ. This has been essential for us since our extended biological family does not live nearby. Our church is quite literally our family. When we have a potentially difficult IEP on the calendar I ask friends from church to help with babysitting, playdates, etc. It also benefits the church because it lets people use their gifts and be involved in ministry.

4. Seek godly counsel. We are blessed to have other Christian friends who have walked through numerous IEPs before us. Often if I am writing a letter to explain our position or just need to bounce some ideas off someone, these friends have both the practical knowledge and the spiritual wisdom to give good advice. However, I also find that it is beneficial to talk with godly people who don't necessarily know anything about the IEP process. The questions they ask and the fresh perspective they offer can be the dose of insight I need to break through whatever obstacle has arisen.

5. Put on your armor, but remember who the enemy is. Consider meditating on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) before your meeting. I have recently found this to be very useful to prepare for any potentially difficult encounter. It is important, though, to remember that "... our struggle is not against flesh and blood" (i.e. not against teachers, administrators, experts, bureaucrats, etc.) "but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (verse 12) Satan would like nothing better than to discredit your faith, discouraged you, or defeat you with temptation. IEP meetings are a ripe spiritual battleground, but you need not be unprotected.

There are probably more steps one could take to walk into an IEP with their spirit aptly prepared. I'd love to hear your ideas via comments. These are the most critical ones I've encountered in the last year. I'll be praying that they are useful to you.

Click here for a practical idea for preparing for a new school year, new teacher.