I made the cake while my daughter was at school, but still needed to frost it when I went to pick her up from school. This was putting some time pressure on me because the glaze needs to be poured hot on top of the warm cake for it all to turn out just right. There is always transition time when I pick my daughter up from school. She needs time to switch from school mode to home mode; teacher interaction to mommy interaction. Sometimes she wants to play on the playground. Sometimes she wants to show me something in her classroom. I've learned not to rush her because it just makes the transition harder, but there are times, like yesterday, when the transition time doesn't line up well with my agenda. My agenda has to be shoved aside. Yesterday we needed time to look at the newest class pets - two cute little mice (yes, Mom - mice!) and look at a couple of projects my daughter was so proud of. Toward the beginning I told my daughter that we would need to go straight home after we looked at the mice because I was in the middle of making a cake. She likes cake and I think this motivated her to make the transition shorter and more easily than if my agenda was something she totally wasn't interested in...like vegetables or something.
As we were walking home she wanted to know more about this cake. What kind was it? Why did I want to make that cake? I tried to explain to her how it reminded me of my family and good memories, and although she later repeated this information verbatim to her father and our Bible study friends, I don't think she ever understood why this was an important reason to make this cake. I'm kind of fascinated by her reaction. For one thing, my daughter has an excellent long term memory. As often occurs with individuals affected by autism, she can remember details and events that I have long forgotten about. She remembers (and has asked me to go buy) a toy that she saw in a toy store when she was three years old (she is now seven.) We went there once, and she remembers this toy. She remembers children from Kindergarten and preschool that we haven't seen for months or years. She remembers their names and where they live, and probably anything else they told her. I have to be careful what I say around her because chances are she will remember it and may say it to the wrong person at the wrong time. There is no lack of memory skill in her disregard for nostalgia. I think she probably even experiences nostalgia at some level. She chose certain events and details of her birthday party because "that's what we did last year" and evidently she remembered it fondly...or is that just her love of routine coming into play...or is there a deeper connection between "routine" and "nostalgia." Still, she couldn't make the connection between memories, good feelings surrounding those memories, and how those feelings might direct one's decisions. Or perhaps she just couldn't empathize with my process.
All of this goes to remind me how important good memories are and how we should try to hold onto them and celebrate them whenever we can. I certainly want to build good memories into my children's lives. Will they remember cherry chocolate cake and choose to make it for their kids some day? I hope so.
By the way, that cake was JUST as good as the way I remember it. There are not very many things one remembers from childhood that one can say that about. I was also relieved that after all my raving about this cake my daughter liked it to and asked for a second piece. I thought I'd include the recipe here, in case you want to try and make some sweet memories yourself...enjoy!
Cherry Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Glaze
Cake
- Chocolate or Devil's Food cake mix (with or without pudding in the mix)
- 2 eggs
- 1 teaspoon almond extract
- 1 can of cherry pie filling
Glaze
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/3 cup butter
- 1/3 cup milk
- 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
